


A Hot Mission

by buckystar



Series: This is what friends are for [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Adorable dorks, Angst and Feels, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Bucky is crazy for you as well, Fluff, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Loki has a crush on Tony, Mentions of Frigga - Freeform, Multi, Mutual Pining, Reader-Insert, Sexual Tension, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, You are crazy for Bucky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-05-10 04:53:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14730317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckystar/pseuds/buckystar
Summary: You all go on a mission and the feelings you and Bucky have for each other are very obvious for everyone... except for the two of you. After that, Tony decides to invite everyone to his bowling alley. How will things turn out at the end? Also, what is going on between Loki and Tony?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been in the mood for reading and writing Marvel fanfiction lately and now that I have finished my classes at uni I can actually sit in front of my computer and write.
> 
> This was going to be just a fluffy one-shot but... things happened and now it's going to be a multichapter story with a sequel. 
> 
> Also, I cried writing the mentions of Frigga so, I hope you enjoy that!

You looked at yourself in the mirror and re-adjusted your dark blue silk dress for the hundredth time. Thank goodness you didn’t have to worry about your hair, as Natasha had helped you straightening it until it was on point and swore it would stay perfect the whole night. You had done your own makeup: fake eyelashes, lip gloss and the perfect amount of highlighter.

 

“I’d say you’re ready for this.”

 

You heard his beautiful husky voice coming from behind, far away enough to not be seen in the mirror but as he came closer you saw, eyes fixed on it, his body inside a dark blue tuxedo and a black shirt slightly opened and no tie. You cursed in silence that you had nothing to cover up your face with to hide your reaction at how handsome he looked.

 

“You’re looking sharp, Bucky.” You replied, turning back to face him, who instantly chuckled at your compliment.

 

“And you’re…” he started as he walked closer to you, “so gorgeous.” He blinked a few times and then quickly changed the subject. “I gotta give you…” he started to nervously rummage something inside his jacket and finally took out two eyeglass cases. “This. Ray-Band. Tony’s by the way. He said we could keep them.”

 

You put them on and started making faces in the mirror, making Bucky laugh. It was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard and you quickly took them off just to see his smile.

 

“Really?” You asked, still acting funny.

 

“And… he also said you could keep this.” With soft blue eyes, he handed you a long necklace made of small diamonds that matched perfectly with your dress. As you were putting it on, Bucky couldn’t keep his gaze off your neckline as the diamonds made their way through it and you placed it very carefully with your fingers. You saw his shoulders moving slowly as he took a deep breath.

 

“You smell very nice, too.”

 

Now you were feeling his breath against your neck and you could feel your knees almost shivering and you know that if he touched you it would make you weak completely. At that moment, you looked at the two of you in the mirror and you couldn’t help but think how freaking good you looked together in your matching outfits.

 

“Thanks.” You said, realizing you hadn’ replied yet and you both chuckled.

 

You looked down but then your eyes met again in the mirror and you turned your back because you couldn’t keep up with the tension any longer.

 

“God.” You said as soon as you saw that someone had entered the room. When you looked at Bucky you noticed that it had taken him by surprise as well.

 

“Good evening. You’re looking marvellous, my dear.”

 

“Thank you, Loki.” You said, smiling. “What are you doing here?”

 

“And why do you look like a witch?” Bucky asked.

 

“You too, seriously? Anyway, Tony wanted me to let you know that the cars are ready.”

 

“He didn’t rent limousines?” You asked, confused. “That’s not his style.”

 

“Well,” Loki chuckled. “he did rent one. For the two of us. He wanted to be discreet tonight.”

 

You looked at Bucky and he rose his shoulders showing as much confusion as you.

 

“Okay… and why is he going with you?”

 

“He wanted to monitor me closely,” Loki said with his characteristic mischievous smile.

 

“Okay…” You added.

 

You looked at his suit again and saw that he had unbuttoned the black jacket of the suit, showing the golden fabric underneath.

 

* * *

 

_“I’m so sorry, Loki.”_

_It made you so sad seeing him as devasted as he was. You blamed Odin for everything, for not letting Loki attend the funeral of his own mother. Loki had been crying for a while, as you could see in his reddened eyes, and his hair, usually so carefully brushed, was a mess._

_“Who let you in, y/n?”_

_From his voice, you could tell he was about to cry once again. You carefully chose your next words._

_“Your brother.”_

_Loki looked at you and with his glazed eyes, you realized you chose wrong._

_“He put me in here.” He said in a thin voice._

_“I… I didn’t… I’m so sorry, Loki.” Now you were the one about to cry but you knew that wasn’t going to help him at all._

_He walked closer to you from his cell and your glazed eyes met._

_“How was the ceremony?”_

_You tried to hold his eyes without breaking into pieces. You didn’t know how he could hold his tears back but probably that was because he had none left to cry at that point. Loki knew he didn’t have to be strong in front of you. He didn’t have to pretend everything was fine when it clearly wasn’t._

_“It was beautiful.” You wanted to say that Frigga had had the funeral she deserved but you knew that wasn’t true. She would’ve deserved one with Loki being present. “Everyone will remember her.”_

_“Thank you. Thank you for being there for me.” Loki said through the glass._

_You turned around to one the guards._

_“Make it quick.” He said, opening the cell._

_Loki looked at you confused when he saw that the guard was giving you a big black box. You took a deep a breath before entering the cell._

_“I have to give you something, Loki. It’s better if you sit down.”_

_You walked slowly towards the bed and you placed the box on the mattress. It was when you opened it that Loki started shedding tears in silence._

_“I should have told her how much I loved her when she came here to see me.” He murmured._

_“But I thought…”_

_“She had to use magic. To see me. To comfort me. And you know what I said to her?” Now, instead of being sad, he was angry at himself._

_“Loki, you don’t have to repeat it. She knew you didn’t mean it like that.”_

_Loki took a few breaths before smiling a little._

_“She always knew how I really felt.”_

_“She knew that you loved her.” You said, putting your hand on Loki’s shoulder. When he looked at you, you kept talking. “She wanted you to have this.” You continued, pointing at the clothes. “The blue represents the royalty, as well as the golden. And… there’s more.” You took the clothes and put them on the bed, revealing a dark suit on the bottom of the box._

_Loki took the suit and, when he touched the jacket he smiled at the soft touch of the fabric, but his eyes filled with tears once again when he saw that the inner lining was golden as well. The jacket also had a pocket on the left side. With a note. Loki took a deep breath and closed his eyes._

_“It’s from her, isn’t it?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Can you…? Please.” He said, handing you the note._

_“Of course.” You answered._

_You unfold the small paper and read the words out loud._

_“This is so you can always carry part of me whenever you go. You’ll be in my heart always, son. Loves you, Frigga.”_

_Once the name of her mother came out of your mouth, Loki turned your body so he could hug you, sobbing on your shoulder._

_That's what she would have wanted him to wear at her funeral._

 

* * *

 

Loki re-adjusted his jacket while looking at you, so you decided to quickly change the subject, as the memories had built a noticeable tension in the room.

 

“So, is your brother coming?” You said, clearing your throat more than once.

 

“What did I just said? Tony wanted to be discreet tonight!”

 

“So that means no.” You said laughing. “Oh, where are your glasses, by the way?”

 

“Glasses? I didn’t get any glasses.” Loki replied. “Anyway. We should go now. We’ll meet there in around an hour, depending on the traffic and then we’ll get the job done. T’Challa’s on his way already. You all remember what you have to do?”

 

“Yeah, y/n and I are European artists and we just have to act normal, follow yours and Steve’s instructions and, once Nat’s gives us the sign, go to the rooftop and dismantle the bomb,” Bucky said.

 

“Someone has been studying. Okay. It’s so great you can speak so many languages because that will really help us tonight. You have to be paying attention to everything because there are people coming from all around the world to this event. Whoever knows something about the bomb could say it in any language other than English to get away with it easier.” Loki warned.

 

“We will.” You assured him.

 

“Okay. I’ll see you there.” Loki said, closing the door.

 

You turned around to look at Bucky very serious after hearing Loki’s words.

 

“Let’s go.”

 

 You and Bucky put your glasses on, he opened up the door and you got out of the room with Bucky’s metal hand on your waist.

 

* * *

 

 

Every breath each of you took was the only sound that filled the big space of the elevator as you made your way to the garage. Then, Bucky removed his hand from your waist and you looked at him.

 

“Sorry.” He said in a low voice with his head down.

 

“Why?”

 

“The… hand. The arm, in general.” He answered, this time looking at you.

 

His insecurities about his metal arm always enhanced when he had to go on missions. Missions where people could see him. Even if they weren’t looking at him, he thought they were judging him somehow. When you were in the tower, he covered up his body sometimes. He didn’t do that when Steve, Tony or Sam were around but, if you were, he did, but he never avoided you in a rude way. It was so obvious he did that because of how he felt about it with others seeing that part of him that you were scared to talk about it with him. He also had never brought it up.

 

“Bucky. It’s fine. I’m totally fine with it.” You said, taking his metal hand again. _I like it as much as the rest of you._ “You can touch me with it. It could never make me feel bad.” The only thing you were actually scared of was saying too much.

 

Your fingers intertwined with his metal ones and he took a deep breath.

 

“Can you feel anything with that hand, though?” You wanted to know.

 

“I… huh… I feel temperatures, thanks to Tony. But it means a lot when someone touches me without being afraid. So I guess you could say so.”

 

Your hands were still touching and when the doors opened you run to the car and jumped in. Once you got comfortable and put your seatbelts on, Bucky slowly brushed your hair off your shoulder, making you shiver when you felt the metal on your skin. He looked at you, smiling and put his arm around your shoulder. It didn’t take you long to fit your body into his. He caressed your left hand with his metal fingers every once in a while, making you stay awake as everything seemed like a dream. But Bucky’s touch proved it was real.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with the second chapter! I hope you like it :)

“Hey, doll.”

 

Bucky’s husky voice let you knew you had arrived at your destination made you come back to earth. You looked at him and saw how he was putting a black glove on his metal hand. Afterwards, you made sure your guns were hidden: his knives inside the jacket and your revolver on your left thigh and then Bucky opened the door of the vehicle and held it for you. That seemed to be a very difficult mission, the place was full of people and you couldn’t find your best friend between the crowd, the man you knew from years and who always knew how to make you feel like everything was going to be alright.

 

“You’re here.”

 

“Tony.” You said, smiling when you turned your back. Loki was standing proudly next to him with a smile as big as yours. Bucky let go of your arm so you could hug your friend and Tony placed a gentle kiss on your right cheek and held your hands.

 

“You look beautiful.” He said.

 

“Well, thank you.” You answered with a small laugh. “You didn’t bring your suit?” You exclaimed.

 

“What do you mean? Isn’t this enough?” Tony complained looking at his body.

 

“Tony…” You started, coming closer to him.

 

“It’s fine, darling,” Loki said in that characteristic voice of him, comforting and soft and firm and confident at the same time. He looked at Tony and their eyes met. “I got him.” He continued, still staring at Tony.

 

“No, _I_ got _you_.” Tony clarified, pointing at Loki with the index finger and a serious look on his face. “And I won’t leave you alone all night.”

 

“Oh, I know you won’t,” Loki replied with a mischievous smile.

 

Tony and Loki kept staring at each other in silence while the tension grew. Only that it wasn’t the _typical_ kind of tension that accompanied awkward moments of silence. At last, Tony cleared out his throat and looked at you, trying to concentrate on changing the topic somehow.

 

“There has been a little change in plans,” Tony said.

 

“How little?” Bucky asked, finally saying a word. 

 

“Not too much,” Loki said in a funny voice.

 

Tony closed his eyes for a few seconds as soon as those words came out of Loki’s mouth.

 

“You won’t be following Loki’s instructions tonight.” Tony started. “But don’t worry, I got you covered. Peter and Shuri will do the job.”

 

After he said that, the young couple arrived behind Tony. Shuri was wearing a beautiful dark purple sequin dress, matching Peter’s purple suit. They were holding hands and Peter couldn’t look more proud of being with Shuri and he then leaned on to kiss her on the cheek, making her eyes close at the feeling of Peter’s lips on her skin.

 

“Shuri helped me finishing my science homework so I could come here to help,” Peter said.

 

“Boy, it’s Friday and this is an important mission, you would’ve come anyway,” Tony replied.

 

“But my girlfriend helped me with my homework! That’s also important!” Peter exclaimed.

 

“I’m glad you say so.”

 

Peter still wanted Tony’s approval and respected him so damn much but since he started dating Shuri, T’Challa intimidated him **even more** than Tony.

 

Peter turned his back and face T’Challa, who was wearing a black suit with no tie and a v-neck shirt that accentuated his deltoids.

 

“Your majesty.” The boy said, nervous. Shuri looked away and covered her mouth, laughing.

 

“Hello, brother.” She said, after having collected herself.

 

“Goodnight, lovebirds,” T’Challa responded.

 

“We were just doing homework, I swear.” Peter quickly said.

 

“Relax,” T’Challa said, trying to calm him down. “Let’s get to work. Y/n, Peter will be the one to give you the instructions. Bucky, Shuri will do the same with you.”

 

You looked at Bucky and saw how his shoulders relaxed as he sighed in relief.

 

“Okay, let’s do th…”

 

“Hello, beautiful.”

 

A voice interrupted Bucky and when you turned your head again you saw with surprise who it was.

 

“Erik.” You said, taking off your glasses.

“Do you need a partner for this mission?” He asked with vicious eyes.

 

“She already has one,” Bucky stated, putting his body closer to yours, but without touching it. You realized he had taken off his glasses as well.

 

“Actually,” T’Challa started, making you and Bucky froze inside for a second. “he will be joining you for this mission. He’s the best weapon we have as no one will believe him to be on our team.”

 

“And neither do I,” Bucky replied.

 

Erik laughed and walked closer to Bucky until they were face to face.

 

“I would watch my words from now on, _soldier_ ,” Erik said, pronouncing the last word with such contempt it made you both sad for Bucky and mad at him at the same time.

 

You separated them in anger and Erik looked at your hand on his chest with hungry eyes and a vicious smile. You then looked at T’Challa, who instantly saw the nature of your anger.

 

“Why should we do that?” You demanded.

 

“I’m a changed man, baby, you can trust me,” Erik answered.

 

You weren’t looking at him, but you heard Bucky taking a deep breath. But your mind knew it was because of what Erik had said to him, and that it had nothing to do with what he had said to you. Or how he was looking at you.

 

T’Challa took a deep breath and comforted you with his eyes. There was something in them that told you that you could actually trust Killmonger, otherwise, he wouldn’t be part of the mission. You knew he wanted the throne of Wakanda but, in the end, T’Challa had been stronger. You also knew that he had given him the chance to stay in Wakanda if he truly accepted as king. If he had said no to that he would’ve died. Turned out, he wasn’t as stupid as he seemed to be.

 

“Alright.” You sighed, still suspicious. “If you say so.” You added, looking at T’Challa with a very serious expression.

 

Your eyes moved to Erik, whose smile remained vicious as his gaze slowly examined your body by looking down at it. You quickly turned around to Bucky, who barely moved his body. His hands were in fists and his gaze softened as soon as your eyes met his.

 

“Are you ready?” You asked him.

 

He exhaled through his nose in anger before taking his eyes off you, looking up.

 

“Yes.” He stated.

 

* * *

 

 

 You entered the building with Erik and Bucky behind you. You and Bucky connected your coms and at that moment you looked at Erik realizing he didn’t have one.

 

“Where’s your…?” You started.

 

“Don’t worry about it, T’Challa told me that you will be giving me the orders tonight.”

 

He looked at you with hungry eyes and you responded by rolling your eyes at him. He had to take the hint because he _really_ wasn’t the man you had eyes for.

 

“Well, then you better listen up.” You answered.

 

“Hey! I’m here. It’s Peter retransmitting the best program of the night _Good Night Avengers!_ ” You heard from your com.

 

“Peter, you know I love your sense of humour but please, focus.” You said.

 

“I just making an introduction.” He answered, making you laugh. “Okay, the party just started so you have to blend into the environment, like fancy chameleons. Drink, dance, stuff like that. Shuri is finding out how much time you have and then she’ll give Bucky a sign so you go to the rooftop. It won’t take too long.”

 

“Got it.”

 

You looked at the two men standing in front of you, waiting for you to do or say something.

 

“Follow me.” You said, walking to the free bar.

 

You found a sit and lean on to order the drinks.

 

“Vodka martini, please.”

 

“Make it two,” Bucky said.

 

“Scotch whiskey,” Erik added.

 

Once you all had your drinks you couldn’t help but look at the James Bond vibes that Bucky was giving you. His facial expression was serious and concentrated on the crowd. Erik, on the other hand, couldn’t keep his eyes off you and even had come closer to you so he could get a better view of your silhouette. You knew how to drink and manage to look completely sober so you order a few more drinks for yourself and after the fourth one the music started playing and everyone was dancing.

 

“Come on, let’s have some fun,” Erik said, trying to hold your waist.

 

“Erik, _please._ You seem to forget whose job is that.” You replied, looking at Bucky who had just processed your words. “What if we show them your moves, Sargeant Barnes?” You _bravely_ managed to add. But you were so glad you did because that made Bucky look happy again that night. He laughed looking at you with shiny eyes and finished his drink in a gulp.

 

“Let’s go.” He said with a wide smile on his face.

 

He caressed your arm while taking you to the middle of the crowd and when his hands went to your waist, you heard the voice of Sinatra in the background. _Witchcraft._

“I love this song,” Bucky said with his amazing husky voice.

 

“Me too. It's one of my faves.” You answered, making him smile.

 

Bucky spun you around a few times until he was holding you in his embrace with his strong arms. His metal hand covered with the glove caressed your arm and travel across your skin getting to your hand, holding it firmly as you kept dancing.

 

“It feels like he’s back,” Bucky said. If it wasn’t for the nostalgic tone of his voice you would’ve thought he was talking about Killmonger. “Who I was back in the 40s when I used to dance a lot more than now.”

 

“Well, you had plenty of ladies waiting to dance with you.” You replied.

 

Bucky laughed a little before spun you around once again and then pulling you even closer to his body than it was.

 

“They weren’t as good as you.” He whispered in your ear, making you blush so much your cheeks felt as if they were on fire.

 

Suddenly, Bucky’s face went serious again and you noticed he was carefully listening to what Shuri was saying to him.

 

“15 minutes.”

 

You looked back to the bar to where Erik was standing with a glass of wine and, taking Bucky by the hand, you walked to him.

 

“We have to move now.” You told Erik.

 

“What do you want me to do?” Erik replied as if he had been waiting for that moment all night.

 

“Go to the rooftop.” You answered.

 

“Just you and me?” He asked.

 

“I’m not leaving her,” Bucky stated with a hint of anger in his voice.

_It wasn’t jealousy. He doesn’t trust Killmonger and honestly, neither do I but we need to wrap this mission up._ You thought.

 

“You’re coming with us just in case we’re caught.” You said. “I can’t do this without him.” You added looking at Bucky, who squeezed your hand after hearing your words.

 

“Okay. Let’s go.” Erik replied. He had clearly given up on you after that.

 

* * *

 

 

You discretely managed to get out of there and went to the elevator. You thought you were going to be on your own, as everyone was dancing. But no. Erik pushed the button to the last floor and you took a deep a breath, still holding Bucky’s hand. The doors opened when you were halfway there and three men came in the elevator. As you were making your way up, Bucky let go of your hand and when you looked down, you saw that he had a knife.

 

One of the men turned his back to him with another knife and started to fight with him. You took a step back and held your gun in your hands, pointing at the man who was in front of you and as soon as you saw that he was armed too, you shot him. The other man turned back to you and before he could make another move, Erik cut off his throat. At that moment, the man left was holding his knife to Bucky’s face, whose knife was on the floor of the elevator. You went back to save your gun on your thigh and kicked the man on the leg, making the knife fell and then you took it along with Bucky’s and stabbed the man for the sides. You let the knives enter his body for a few seconds and then removed them quickly. He turned around to face you and you stabbed him once again, one knife on his chest and the other one on the stomach. He fell to the ground as soon as you removed them from his body, this time a little bit slower.

 

“Are you okay?” You asked Bucky, worried.

 

“Umm… yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” He answered with widened eyes.

 

“Okay. We have a bomb to dismantle.” You said before returning both knives to Bucky.

 

The doors of the elevator finally opened. Erik took the bodies and placed them so they stood that way and no one could take the elevator. You walked slowly, gun in hand, through a long dark corridor until you found a door that led to the rooftop.

 

“Stay here. Bucky and I will take care of the rest.” You told Erik.

 

“Got it.” He replied.

 

Bucky opened the door and as soon as he did that, he closed it, looking at his left arm. He had been shot.

 

“Fuck.” He murmured.

 

“I’m going out there.” You said.

 

“No. Y/n. Look at me. I won’t let you do this on your own.” Bucky said looking at you with worry on his face.

 

“Bucky, he has a gun, I have a gun and there’s only like ten minutes left before this fucking building blows up. Let. Me. Go.” You replied, frustrated.

 

“I can go with you.” He added, grabbing your left hand while your right was holding the gun.

 

“And where will the next bullet end up? Uh? Tell me.” You said with anger in your voice.

 

He kept looking at you and then he decided to let go of your hand with sad eyes.

 

“I’m not taking that risk, Bucky. You need to understand that.” You added, running your fingers through his hair.

 

He closed his eyes and nodded. You made him move away from the door as you opened it again and starting to shoot but the man of the rooftop dodge all of your bullets.. until there were none left. Your entire body froze but, just before he pulled his trigger, the sound of bullets filled the air. The man fell down after having been shot for what it seemed every inch in his body. You looked down at where the bomb was and went on to dismantle it just in time. Heavily breathing, you turned around to see where the bullet had come from. But deep inside, you already knew the answer.

 

“Bucky.”

 

He put down the gun and practically run to you. You jumped to him and he caught your thighs and you noticed the absence of the glove at the feeling of his metal hand on your skin.

 

“I know what you said. But… one of the guys on the elevator was _really bad_ at hiding stuff.”

 

You laughed with crying eyes, brushing Bucky’s hair with your fingers.

 

“Thank you.” You said to him, looking at Bucky deep in the eyes.

 

“Hey, we’re teammates. You don’t have to thank me.” He replied.

 

_Teammates. Of course._

You put your feet back on the ground and picked up the guns.

 

“You should keep this one.” You told Bucky, holding the AK-47 he had taken from one of the men on the elevator.

 

You saved your revolver back on your thigh and looked at him again.

 

“We have to leave now.”

 

Erik took the bodies to the rooftop and then you realized he was wearing latex gloves. _Maybe he wasn’t that stupid after all._ You thought.

 

You took the elevator in silence but, when the doors opened, you thanked Erik for his help, to which he simply answered with a short “you’re welcome,” before leaving you with Bucky in the hall of the building. You told Bucky you needed a drink and he decided to give you some space. He saw Steve and left you alone at the bar while you ordered some alcohol to deal with your emotions. You were almost done with it when you heard the familiar laugh of Tony at the other side of the bar. He had the company or a gorgeous brunette with really long and silky hair. She had a purple dress that accentuated her curves, especially the butt, which Tony was grabbing with pleasure. You finished your drink and walked away, looking for another familiar face. Hopefully, one you could had a conversation with.

 

“Hey! I haven’t seen you all night!”

 

You turned around and smile and your friend Natasha, who was looking amazing in a red dress with thin straps.

 

“Nat!” You exclaimed, hugging her.

 

“Where’s Tony? We have to go.” She said.

 

You pointed at the bar where he was now _really_ making out with the brunette. Natasha rolled her eyes and sighed.

 

“Unbelievable.”

 

“Not really.” You replied.

 

Then, Tony finally let her go and came to where you were with a smile on his face.

 

“I thought you were watching over Loki tonight.” You commented.

 

“I was. I can take a break sometimes, you know? Besides, we both had to go.” Tony answered.

 

“Oh no! I would’ve loved to met her,” Natasha complained.

 

“No way. She is… very reserved.” Tony replied.

 

“If you say so…” Natasha said.

 

“Oh, there he is.” You pointed out when you saw Loki coming closer to you.

 

“Were you looking for me?” He asked you.

 

“Well, I was worried Tony had left you alone after swearing he would do the exact opposite.” You replied.

 

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.” Loki said with a soft smile. Everything in his face was soft and he was very relaxed. He looked at Tony before adding: “He has kept his word.”

 

“Okay! Let’s go home. It’s been a long night and… we should come back to the tower.”

 

“Yeah… I need to get some rest.” You said.

 

“Me too, darling,” Loki added.

 

“Hey, where are you sleeping tonight, by the way?” You asked him.

 

Loki looked at Tony and then you and Natasha did the same.

 

“What?” Tony asked.

 

“Is he staying at the tower?” You replied.

 

“Why would I know that?”

 

“It’s the _Stark_ tower, Tony. You decide.” Natasha answered.

 

Tony sighed but then quickly added:

 

“Okay, fine.”

 

“And I will gladly accept. But only because it’s late and I don’t want Tony to send me to my loft in New York. Too much work.” Loki said, his gaze focused on Tony.

 

“Alright. Let’s go.” Tony replied.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 3!!! I can't tell you how much I loved writing this chapter and I can't wait to write what follows!! I hope you like it as much as I do! :D
> 
> There's more from the perspective of Bucky and I loved writing that part and now you'll see what he thinks about what has happened.

Tony and Loki walked away from you and went outside to get into the limousine when you suddenly felt a cold metallic hand on your shoulder.

 

"Hey, y/n, listen..."

 

 _Fuck._ _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What does he want? He's probably going to send me to the friendzone officially._

 

"Yes, Bucky?" You said. You couldn't possibly be more nervous at that moment.

 

"Is it okay for you if I go on the car with Steve on our way back? I have... stuff to discuss with him and stuff, you know?" He said, running his fingers through his hair like a hundred times.

 

And right after he asked that Steve appeared from behind, he was wearing a garnet suit and he had a beard that was just a few days old.

 

"Buck..." Steve touched his friend's shoulder and after seeing above it seemed as if he had forgotten his words. "Y/n????? You look... really pretty. I haven't seen you at all tonight. We've worked in little teams this time. I'm sure you've done an amazing job. Both of you, of course." He said, pointing at Bucky and you.

 

"T'Challa's brother has helped as well," Bucky said, to your surprise.

 

"Yeah, he has." You replied, looking at Bucky who immediately looked away from you. He pressed his lips hard lifting his eyebrows and then made you remember his question that you hadn't answered. "You can go, I'll... see you. Good night, guys." You mumbled before getting out the uncomfortable situation as fast as your heels allowed you.

 

"Hey! Y/n!"

 

You recognized that voice and it made you smile for a second even though your number one priority was to come back to the tower and go to bed as soon as possible.

 

"Peter!" You sighed. "What's up?"

 

"Have you seen Tony? He didn't tell me goodbye or anything and he's not getting my text messages."

 

"Really? That's... so weird."

 

"Do you think I did something wrong on the mission? I don't want to disappoint him, you know how much I care about his opinion!"

 

"Hey, hey, relax. He's just tired. He probably turned off his phone to get some rest on the way back or something. Don't worry. He has been acting a little bit... weird."

 

"The suit! He didn't have his suit! That could explain it!" Peter exclaimed.

 

The thought went through your brain for a few seconds but quickly disappeared. There was something else that he wasn't telling anyone, not even you. But you were sure Tony would end up telling you when he was ready as he had always done in the past. You were one of his best friends, after all, and so was he to you.

 

"Sure! Hey, are you going to...?" You asked, pointing to the exit of the building.

 

"What? Oh, the Tower! No, I can't! I'm heading home with aunt May. I have to study for a big test I have next week so... yeah, not happening."

 

"You're so busy to be a teenager, Peter." You said.

 

"Who would've thought being Spiderman would be the easy part." He laughed.

 

You laughed as well and then saw how Peter said goodbye to Shuri with a gentle kiss while he cupped her face with his hands, both of them breaking the kiss because they couldn't hold back their smiles. It hurt to admit to yourself that you were a little bit jealous of what they had and you knew, since that night, you wouldn't have with Bucky.

 

Shuri reunited with T'Challa and Erik. After what had happened you felt like you needed to talk to him. He deserved it.

 

"Erik."

 

Your voice was calm and sounded nothing like when you gave orders. He turned around and told Shuri and T'Challa to wait for him as soon as he saw you. His gaze was both hopeful and surprised. When he was next to you, you were the first to speak.

 

"Thank you for your help tonight, seriously." And you meant it.

 

"I did what I had to do. I'm sorry I was also a jerk.”

 

“It’s not me who you have to apologize to, Erik.” You replied, serious.

 

“I already talk to him. He’s a great guy.”

 

That _definitely_ took by surprise and he surely saw that on your face, filled with confusion.

 

"Y/n, I should tell you something." He paused for a moment to look you in the eyes. He knew that his next words will definitely end all of his chances with you but he didn’t care about that anymore.

 

“What is it?”

You had no idea what he would have to say now and, honestly, you were scared. You hated this kind of moments because they made you feel anxious and your mind wondered about all the possible ways things could go, usually, down.

 

He took a deep breath before saying, finally: “I gave him the gun.”

 

Your eyes widened.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“At the rooftop. When you went through that door even though that was the last thing Bucky wanted. He couldn’t think, he didn’t know what to do. I had never seen a man feeling so powerless.”

 

You remembered his gaze when you told him you weren’t going to let him risk his life. Because Bucky dying was the last thing _you_ wanted to happen and the thought of it started bringing tears to your eyes but you held them back. _Not now._

 

“So I looked back to the elevator and I saw that the guy I killed had a gun inside the jacket. I should’ve seen it before…”

 

“Erik. It’s okay. In those situations, the fear can blind your senses.” _Or, unfortunately, other kinds of feelings…_ “And then what happened?” You asked.

 

***

 

_“Here. Take it.” Erik said, handing Bucky the gun._

_“What the fuck are you doing?” Bucky asked. He was still angry at Killmonger and didn’t trust him. That didn’t make any sense._

_“Look, if there was still any glimpse of… soldier in you, you wouldn’t be like this.” Erik replied, changing the tone when saying the word soldier again, this time with regret._

_Bucky kept looking at him and after seeing that Erik wasn’t going to answer with a smirk and go back to act like a jerk, he decided to trust him._

_“I know you care about her, you don’t have to tell me that. Now go out there and kill that guy.”_

_Bucky was trying to process those words when the sound of your gunshots stopped and he felt like his heart did too. He kicked the door so hard it fell down and he started shooting at the guy. When you turned around to him, astonished, his heart started beating again._

***

 

“I knew if someone had to go out there and help you out… it had to be him. I gave him the gun and he ran out there to save you.”

 

You couldn’t believe what he was telling you and the fact that that was giving you hopes to think that Bucky could have feelings for you hurt so much. He called you teammate and then he told he wanted to leave with Steve in another car. No. He only did his job for the mission and what really matter what was had happened at the end. And that was the fact that you would have to leave on your own thinking about the man you were in love with and try to get some sleep after that night. Why things had to be that way?

 

“Thank you, Erik.”

 

He simply smiled and then turned around to leave with T’Challa and Shuri but you stopped him.

 

“Wait!”

 

He looked at you with surprise. “Yeah?”

 

“During the mission... were you... ?" You mumbled pointing at yourself and then at him.

 

He laughed a little. “I was just… I don’t know. I mean you’re a really pretty girl, I’ll tell you that. Especially tonight but… I’m not making any more moves after what has happened.”

 

Now you were the one laughing. “What are you talking about?”

 

“Come on, y/n, you know what I’m talking about.”

 

You looked at him with confusion and he couldn’t believe you didn’t get it.

 

“Seriously? Bucky…”

 

“Erik, that’s… insane.”

 

“Y/n, you can say whatever you want but I saw what I saw and you did as well.”

 

“We’re teammates! Okay? That’s all.” Repeating that word made your heart twist.

 

Erik took a deep breath. He didn’t want to get in an argument with you for this and he realized this wasn’t a conversation that concerned him so he decided to give up while still being a bit frustrated of how blind you were.

 

“Anyway. You did a great job tonight, you’re impressive.” He stated.

 

“Thank you, Erik.”

 

After that he finally left, leaving you alone with your thoughts and your heart aching. _Bucky didn’t have feelings for you. Why… why would he say something like that?_

 

“Y/n?” Said a voice behind you.

 

“Nat! You scared me.”

 

“Sorry. Are you ready to go? Steve has left with Bucky so… we’ll have to share the car!” She said happily.

 

“Yeah… I know.” You sighed.

 

Nat frowned, trying to figure out what was going on with you. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing, I’m just… really tired.” You answered. _Technically_ , you weren’t lying.

 

Nat knew something was off but she decided to leave it there for now. She could imagine as well how exhausted you must be after the mission and that maybe tomorrow morning you would feel better and willing to talk about it.

 

“Alright, let’s leave then.” She said, putting her arm around your shoulder and you both headed to the car.

 

The smell of Bucky’s perfume was the first thing you noticed when you got in. Nat closed the door behind and what she said afterwards made you laugh. _And how much you needed it._

 

“Chofer, please, turn the radio on. We’re going to need some music.” She looked at you smiling and you hoped that any sad song came up on your way to the Tower. Once you heard Dua Lipa’s voice your body reacted instantly.

 

“Turn the music up!” You almost screamed behind the partition.

 

Nat started laughing and was glad to see you enjoying yourself like that.

 

You focused on the lyrics of the first verse that talked about love and couldn’t help but think of Bucky. When the bridge came up, you felt happy and strong enough to sing along.

 

_Something you lit up heaven in me_

_The feeling won’t let me sleep_

_‘Cause I’m lost in the way you move, the way you feel_

 

You looked at Nat and sang along together the chorus.

 

_One kiss is all it takes_

_Fallin' in love with me_

_Possibilities_

_I look like all you need_

_One kiss is all it takes_

_Fallin' in love with me_

_Possibilities_

 

You spent all the way back to the Tower thinking about how would it feel to kiss Bucky, what his lips would taste like. Probably something similar to heaven.

 

***

_Meanwhile, in another car…_

 

“How was the mission, Buck?”

 

“It was… good. We made it.”

 

“I imagine. Having y/n must have helped you a lot, I know how easier it gets for you when you have missions… the fact that she’s by your side and all.”

 

“Tonight… I was really worried about her. More than I’ve ever been.”

 

Steve quickly turned his head to Bucky.

 

“What? What happened? Is she alright? I mean… I saw her but…”

 

“She’s fine, Steve. But… I…” His voice started to shiver and he took a few breaths with his mouth. He closed his eyes and the image of you walking out through that door came back, as well as the sound of the last gunshot you made when you ran out of bullets. “I thought I was going to lose her.”

 

“What are you talking about, Bucky?”

 

“She saved me from a guy who almost killed me in the elevator and then… there was another guy on the rooftop, waiting for us.” He took a pause. The memories were still too fresh in his mind and for a second he wished he had chosen to go with you on the car to hold you all the way back to the Tower but he needed to talk about this with someone that wasn’t you. And Steve was the only one he could do it with. “She didn’t want me to die and she wasn’t letting me go out there with her. She was so worried about me…” He took a pause again and this time Steve comforted him by caressing his shoulder. “She went out there on her own. She ran out of bullets…” Bucky was almost crying. “If it wasn’t for Killmonger I don’t know what would’ve happened to her, Steve. I don’t want to think about it.”

 

“Hey, it’s okay. Y/n’s okay. What happened with Killmonger? I don’t understand.”

 

“He… he found a gun on the elevator. One of the guys had it. He gave it to me…”

 

“…to save y/n.”

 

They both looked at each other.

 

“Yeah… I don’t know why he did that. He was… flirting with her all night, it was so annoying.” He said in an angry voice. “Thankfully she wasn’t buying any of it.”

 

“She’s a smart girl. She knows who’s worthy of her attention.”

 

Bucky then thought about the two of you dancing, how beautiful you looked in his arms, the way you smiled when he spun you around… how you made him feel like he was himself again, at least for a moment. There was no way you would feel the same for him. You had saved him, but you would’ve done for anyone else in the team because you were so great and brave… maybe too much for him.

 

“I know why he did that.” Bucky then looked at Steve, confused. “He knew you saving her was the only way to _assure_ that she was getting out of there alive.” Bucky’s whole gaze softened with Steve’s words. “I heard you busted down the door up there.”

 

“I was scared, Steve. I thought she was going to be dead if I waited one more second. I… I can’t be without her.”

 

“Then why don’t you tell her how you feel?!?!?!? Seriously, Bucky, I’m sure she feels the same way about you.”

 

“Steve…”

 

“What? Now you’re telling me you’re not crazy about each other? I see the way she looks at you when sometimes she comes to the gym and you run away. And when you’re not there I can tell how she looks for you. She asks me where you are. She cares about you!”

 

“She cares about you too! And Tony! And Loki and Nat… she cares about everyone!”

 

“Buck, don’t you see this is not just a friendly way of caring about someone? What… what did she do when you killed that guy?”

 

“She jumped to my arms…”

 

The thought made him smile. He looked down at his hands and he remembered the feeling of your thighs, your breathing on his neck… everything. For a second it was just as if you were there and he knew that if you were, he would kiss you until leaving both of you breathless. He wondered if you tasted as heavenly as you looked that night in that dress. Or with any clothes.

 

“Oh, my goooooood!!! Bucky!!! And you still have doubts about this???” Steve exclaimed in frustration. Suddenly, his eyes widened. “I have an idea!”

 

“No! Steve, wait…”

 

“Please tell me you have any wounds or I’ll have to think about something else.”

 

“Ummm… thank you…?”

 

Steve started examining Bucky’s face.

 

“Damn it!”

 

Steve paused for a second and then continued with Bucky’ shirt.

 

“Steve? What are you doing? Steve! Man, stop tickling me!” Bucky said, almost laughing.

 

“Look, you can go to her, you know, looking kind of tired with a puppy face…” Steve started.

 

“What are you talking about?” Bucky asked, totally confused. “Look, I don’t want to mess things up between her and I. I know it won’t work. We’re… _teammates_. That’s all.” It hurt him to say that word but he thought you couldn’t see him as more than that.

 

“Please tell me you didn’t say that to her, Buck.”

 

Bucky looked at him and Steve immediately guessed those were the words he had said to you before.

 

“Bucky!!! Why do you push her away like that?”

 

“Because she’s too good for me.”

 

“Bullshit!” Steve exclaimed, leaving Bucky surprised at his friend’s choice of words. He almost never cursed. “She’s an amazing girl, the kind I would love to see you happy with. You’re my friend, and so is she. So please, don’t mess things up doing things like that, Bucky. I know she can be really good for you.”

 

“She already is.” Bucky took a deep breath before saying what he just realized had been true for a while. “There’s no hint of winter soldier in me… and it’s all since she came into my life.”

 

“That’s amazing, Bucky! Then let me help you out! Because I know you’re still too afraid to do anything about it no matter what I tell you.”

 

“What do you exactly have in mind?”

 

Steve’s eyes shone in excitement.

 

“When we come back to the Tower you can ask her if she can… you know… check on you.”

 

“What?” Bucky asked, having no idea what Steve was referring to.

 

“You can ask her to see if you have any wounds, like… underneath your shirt, maybe?” Steve continued.

 

“Seriously, **what**???”

 

Steve sighed. “What do you want, Bucky?”

 

The imagine was already on Bucky’s mind. He knew there was no way of him not going crazy under the touch of your fingers taking care of his body.

 

“I may have a wound or two after fighting a guy with knives.”

 

“Great! Let me see.”

 

Bucky sighed but finally allowed Steve to take off his shirt, looking for wounds. The shirt was dark so it may have hidden a few. And it had. Steve found the first one near where his flesh met the metal. He looked at Bucky, not knowing if he wanted to be that vulnerable in front of you.

 

“It’s okay. She doesn’t mind about this.” Bucky said, moving his metal arm with a smile, and Steve smiled back.

 

They both kept looking for more wounds and suddenly Bucky found one on his stomach when he felt the pain of the recent injury. Steve found a few small ones on Bucky’s flesh arm, near the bicep.

 

“I think you’re going to make someone really happy tonight, Buck…” Steve said with a mischievous smile.

 

“You’re unbelievable. Now let me put my clothes back on.” Bucky replied.

 

When he was almost done buttoning his shirt he realized something was off.

 

“And now that we know that I’m _actually_ injured how am I going to be _casual_ about it?”

 

“Trust me, buddy, I got you covered.”

 

Bucky laughed a little but he was really nervous about what could happen and Steve couldn’t be more excited about the thought of two of his best friends getting together.

 

_The way back to the Tower seemed everlasting for all of you._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this really long chapter! I actually decided to make it shorter because otherwise, it would've been too long and I think this is way better than what I had planned out in the beginning.
> 
> There's A LOT of tension here and you'll see more of what is going between Tony and Loki. I'm having an amazing time writing this and I can't wait to keep doing it! :D

Your car and Bucky’s arrived in synchrony at the Tower. Pretty much everyone else was already there, as you had decided to stay for a little while longer talking with each other instead of heading to the cars right after finishing the mission. Not that there was anything wrong with that, you knew Tony wouldn’t mind at all.

When you got out of the car the first thing you saw was Bucky. Steve was whispering things to his ear and he seemed pretty nervous as if he couldn’t process what his friend was telling him. Then, he looked at you and he had changed his facial expression completely. He smiled instantly but he did it so fast you didn’t know if it was fake or not. When your eyes went to Steve, he was also smiling at you and that made you relax a little. You _really_ didn’t want things to be weird between you and Bucky, and maybe the best thing was to forget about it and move on. Having them as a friend was amazing. And that was the problem. Being in his life was something so precious to you that you were afraid to ruin it and that would be worse than not doing what your heart wanted so bad.

As you walked closer to him, Bucky’s pulse started to race. He had been thinking about you the whole way back to the Tower and when came close enough he felt the need to reach out to you. You stopped when you felt his flesh hand on your left shoulder. He took his time on your skin as if he was studying the bone, and he dared to caress part of your clavicle with his thumb. You had to close your eyes for a second. His hand travel down your arm, feeling your velvet skin as he made his way to the elbow where you thought you would lose it completely. When he got to the wrist you knew your flesh was aching. He finally took your hand, holding each and every one of your fingers, and his lips met your skin with surprise when he softly kissed your palm at the feeling of your pulse. His ocean blue eyes looked into yours and he saw the thin line between your fleshy lips that you were breathing through.

“I’m going to stay up a little bit. I know it’s late but I’m… I’m really not that tired.” You said. You knew it would be hard to get some sleep after that night and you were afraid of what your dreams could bring you. Besides, you were hoping to have a word with Tony, just to make sure everything was alright.

“Yeah… we’ll probably do the same.” Steve replied.

You looked at both of them without completely believing it. Steve didn’t look tired at all. But Bucky… he definitely needed some rest.

“Okay… I… I’m going inside.” You said awkwardly.

When you and Natasha got into the elevator and she was the first one to break the silence before getting with the rest of the crew.

“So… did something happened with Bucky tonight?”

You looked at her and she gave you a sad face.

“It’s… I don’t know what happened.”

“I would say he’s pretty into you, y/n. I mean, I had my doubts for a while but it shows that he has feelings for you. And so do you.”

_Really? Natasha too? What was wrong with everyone?_

“Trust me, Nat, it only goes one way.” You replied. She already knew you were in love with Bucky, there was no point in hiding it, at least in front of her.

Natasha took a breath and made an attempt to reply to you, but she decided it was better not to say anything. But you wanted to hear what she had to say anyway.

“Nat?”

“I just think it’s a shame you don’t believe that he could be in love with you. You’re amazing. And he clearly sees that.”

“I have enough evidence to think that it’s not mutual, Nat.”

“Like what?”

“He called me teammate, he didn’t go on the car with me on the way back…”

“So????” She interrupted you. “Don’t you see the way he looks at you? I’m sure that’s not everything that happened tonight.”

“It’s where I’m left with, Nat. At the end of the day, that’s how he sees me. As his teammate. Just like the rest of you.”

_Meanwhile, downstairs…_

Bucky leaned his head on the wall while Steve and he waited for the elevator with a sad expression on his face and his flesh hand in a fist as if he was trying to retain the feeling of your skin.

“I don’t know why I did it…”

“Hey! I didn’t tell you to follow _just_ my plan. I think it’s what she needed after tonight.”

“She pretty much ran away, Steve.” He said, biting his lower lip.

“That’s not true. Hey, look at me.” Bucky’s eyes were watering in frustration.

“I thought that I would never be _able_ to give love to someone the way I want to give love to her. But I do. And it’s killing me.”

Steve couldn’t keep seeing his friend like that, he really wanted him and you to be happy together and he knew you could. He knew you would. But neither of you were brave enough to consider the possibility of your love not being unrequited, for a reason he couldn’t understand. Steve hugged Bucky and let him sob on his shoulder and padded his back softly.

“Buck, hey, listen.” Steve made Bucky look at him and he saw that he had shed a few tears. “Everything’s going to work out for you guys, I swear. Now, try to relax before we go up there, you don’t want to worry her more than you’re already about to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“How do you think she’ll react when she sees your wounds?”

Bucky looked at Steve and took a deep breath. He really wanted to believe his friend, as much as you wanted to believe Nat’s words. But it just seemed too good to be true.

The sound of the elevator suddenly arriving interrupted his thoughts.

“You’re okay, buddy?”

“Yeah.” He sighed.

“Okay. Remember, I’ll touch your shoulder, you make a sound to show that you’re pain… and she’ll do the rest, trust me.”

“Thank you for worrying so much about me, Steve.”

“Hey! Always! This is what friends are for, Buck.”

***

_Upstairs…_

You had gone to your room to change your clothes because you didn’t want to ruin your dress. You kept it in the closet and you did the same with the sunglasses and the necklace. You looked at yourself in the mirror as you took it off, thinking of the way Bucky looked at you when he came into the room. You allowed your mind to wander and it brought back the image of the two of you to the mirror. You sighed. _Could Nat and Erik be right?_ Maybe it really was nonsense to just be thinking of the bad things that had happened that night and not letting yourself think for a while about the good stuff. Nat was an amazing friend, she always knew what to say. She would’ve told you to forget about him, maybe even set up a blind date if she thought it was the best for you. She would never create false hopes.

You put on your underwear and a black night dress. You brushed your hair a few times, it was something that always relaxed you. When you were sad, feeling anxious, worried… _overthinking,_ it always seemed to be the best distraction. That and working out, but sometimes you were too tired and with no energies at all to do it.

You came out of your room and saw Thor’s door opened with his little night light on. You came in and heard that he wasn’t snoring, so maybe he wasn’t too asleep. He was shaking a little so you decided to wrap him properly and the feeling of the sheets made him open his eyes.

“Mmm… lady y/n.”

“Shhh, hey big guy. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“It’s okay. I just came here. How was the mission? Is my brother okay?”

You smiled at him, seeing him so worried about Loki always made your heart warm.

“Yes, he’s fine. Everything went fine.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

You kissed Thor on his temple and after saying goodnight, he asked you to leave the lights on and the door a little bit opened, as always. Once he went to sleep, there was nothing that could wake him up. He slept like a baby but his body woke him up pretty early in the morning, something most people, _even Loki,_ needed an alarm for.

Nat and Tony were in the living room and he was finishing his drink. You sat down on a chair in front of the kitchen desk. It looked like a bar inside the Tower. Nat walked away to give you some space.

“Tequila?” You asked him.

“It was water, actually.”

“Oh.” You said, surprised that he wasn’t drinking after a mission like he usually did.

“Why? Do you want some?”

Both you and Tony used to drink together and was one of the things that made you two bond. When one of you had a problem, you sat down, usually with a drink in hand and tell each other your sorrows.

“I don’t know what I want. I already drank tonight.”

“How many?” He asked, serious.

“Just a few small ones, don’t worry. You know I would never get drunk on a mission, Tony.”

“Yes, I do. Sorry, y/n.”

 “It’s okay. I get it.”

You looked at him for a while, analyzing his expression and decided to make a move.

“How was the mission for you?”

From his gaze, you could see he clearly wasn’t expecting that question.

“It was… fine. I got Loki under control and we… we did what we had to do. I couldn’t bring my Iron Man suit, it was too risky. Sometimes it’s better to let people think you’re not going to do anything just before attacking and winning the battle.” He said smiling. You enjoyed hearing him talk, it was one of the things you admired him for. “It was pretty much all distraction. Just like you.” He added. Both his words and his eyes felt like a knife.

“I did what I was told to do.”

“Were you told to flirt with your mission’s partner?”

“Were you?” You clapped back.

Tony was shocked, to say the least.

“What are you…” he started.

“Tony. Loki’s my friend. I’ve seen him doing his tricks more than once. That shape is not new for me. It’s his _bad-ass hot chick_ go-to look. It’s what he wears when we go to parties sometimes.”

Tony remained silent and that made you feel guilty.

“Hey, Tony. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be like that. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, y/n. I just… I don’t know what I feel for… you know. I like women. That’s how it’s always been. I don’t… I don’t know how everything started. We started getting closer to each other after what happened in New York.”

_***_

_“So, you want to go out before they put you… wherever they’re going to put you. I’m so sorry about this whole thing.”_

_“You don’t get it!”_

_“What? What do I don’t get, Loki? The fact that everyone ends up putting the blame on you all the time? That you can’t seem to make **anyone** happy no matter how many times you try? What is it, Loki? What is it that I don’t get?”_

_Loki didn’t know what to say, he just looked at Tony and somehow, his cold blue eyes comforted him._

_“I can’t go out there.” Loki sighed. “Everyone hates me.”_

_Tony walked towards the drinks and poured some whiskey on a glass and gave it to Loki._

_“Not everyone.”_

_Loki looked at him and then drank all of the alcohol from the glass. Tony drank a little more and Loki did as well._

_“I still haven’t talked to… Odin.” Loki said, pronouncing the name of the man he once called father but that he couldn’t learn to love like that ever again after what he did to him. More specifically, what he **didn’t** do._

_“What about Frigga?” Tony asked._

_Loki looked at him with tears in his eyes and Tony instantly regretted asking about her._

_“My mother is the only one I have left now.”_

_Tony put his arm around Loki’s shoulder, trying to comfort him somehow but he didn’t know how to._

_“Maybe not the only one.” He replied._

_Loki looked at Tony once again, and his tears had stopped from shedding across his face, and he was surprised to hear Tony’s words._

_“At least you still have your parents with you, Loki. At least… at least they’re alive. I’m on my own.”_

_Loki’s soft gaze made Tony wonder how could he act like he did sometimes. Suddenly, the thought of something evil behind his actions came to his mind. Maybe he wasn’t to blame for what he did. He couldn’t be._

_“That’s not true.”_

_They kept staring at each other when Tony couldn’t help himself any longer and smashed his lips to Loki’s. He was shocked but quickly gave up and started kissing him back. When they broke the kiss to breathe again, their eyes were filled with surprise. They stopped for a few seconds that felt like hours before Tony cupped Loki’s face with his hands and kept on kissing Loki, desperate. Loki leaned forward slowly and asked Tony:_

_“Is this okay?”_

_“Yes.” He quickly answered before arching his back to reach Loki’s lips._

_Loki leaned forward even more and ended up on top of Tony._

_“I’m taking my clothes off, okay?” Loki said looking at Tony in the eyes._

_“Okay. But… Loki.”_

_“Yes, Tony?” He asked, putting his hand on Tony’s chest._

_“Don’t… don’t take my shirt off. Right now I’m feeling very vulnerable.”_

_“I’m sorry, Tony. I shouldn’t have… Fuck, I’m sorry.” Loki mumbled, putting his clothes on again._

_“No! It’s not that! It’s not you. It’s… this.” He said, pointing at his arc reactor. That made Loki felt guilty for trying to attack him before. He touched Tony’s chest softly and felt it going up and down with every breath he took. Loki leaned on and kissed Tony on the lips and his tongues met for the first time in the most loving way Tony would’ve ever imagined._

_“We don’t have to go all the way, Tony. It’s okay. I’m totally okay with it. I need you to know that.”_

_That day, they kept kissing until their lips were red from the passion and Loki spent his last day on Earth before going to Asgard._

_“Will you come back?” Tony asked Loki the morning after. They had slept together in the same bed, giving each other the company they wanted so badly._

_“I don’t know, Tony.” He answered. He truly wasn’t expecting Tony to care and the thought made his heart ached._

_“Would you let me know if you did?” Tony insisted._

_Loki looked at him for a few seconds before kissing Tony once again. Tony gasped and Loki introduced his tongue into his mouth, which Tony welcomed gratefully._

_“Does that answer your question?”_

_Tony simply smiled at him and when Loki moved to get out of bed and before he did, Tony reached out to him, searching for his lips one more time, thinking it could be the last one. Then, Loki smiled and the feeling of his mouth curving against his and the sound he made made Tony wanting to get him back in bed again to lay down with him for a little longer._

_“Anthony… I should go.”_

_Tony didn’t listen but the fact that Loki had called him by his full name did something unexpected to his heart that he couldn’t explain._

_“Do you want to?” Tony asked him._

_Loki looked at him, his blue eyes no longer felt cold to Tony and they kissed until leaving each other breathless._

_“No. I really don’t.”_

_However, he put on his clothes while Tony was looking as if I was trying to memorize his godlike movements. Tony called out his name before Loki walked away and left the Tower. He turned around and looked at Tony, who was still on the bed, not knowing what he would say._

_“I won’t forget about this.” He stated before Loki closed the door. He leaned on it with his eyes closed, took a deep breath and finally left with his heart aching._

_***_

“I thought I would never see him again.”

You looked at him astonished after he finished telling you the story.

“Why… why you didn’t tell me?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because I still don’t know exactly how I feel about it. But I know how I feel about him.”

“You know I’m here for you. You don’t have to… find a word that describes what you feel if you, like you said, know how you feel about him.”

“It’s enough for me.”

“If you’re happy, I am.” You said with a smile.

“Well… I hope you find happiness with your own handsome brunette.”

At that moment, the elevator opened and when Steve and Bucky saw you with Tony they decided to slightly change the plan. Tony moved his eyebrows and you felt the need to shoot him a murderous look, but it would’ve been too obvious.

“Tony you should fix that thing, it has taken us _forever_ to get here!” Steve complained.

“Why didn’t you take the stairs?”

“This is one of the tallest buildings in New York and you want me to take the stairs????”

“Oh, come on! With all that serum you could get here _before_ the elevator!”

“Don’t be exaggerated. Besides, I don’t think that would’ve been a good idea for Bucky…”

Then, Bucky looked at Steve, clearly unprepared for that introduction to the plan.

“What do you mean?” You asked. “Ugh! I knew you were tired!”

“I wouldn’t say tired is the most accurate word…” Steve said.

“Guys, you’re really scaring me, what is going on?”

Steve and Bucky looked at each other, mentally preparing for the next step.

“Tony, you can to bed, don’t worry.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” He said before heading to his room.

***

_In Tony’s room…_

Loki was in the kingsized bed reading, patiently waiting for Tony to come to bed. Even though he was really enjoying the book, when Tony entered the room, he immediately noticed his presence. They both smiled at each other and Loki closed the book, leaving it on the bedside table Tony had bought on IKEA after learning how much Loki loved reading before going to bed because when he was a kid his mother used to tell him stories so he could sleep better as he was a kid prone to having nightmares.

“Hi. You’ve been out there…”

Tony jumped right into bed and feverishly kissed Loki, after having told you the story of the last day Loki spent on Earth before… before his world fell apart.

Loki responded to his touch and took his shirt off and allowed Tony to go on top of him and they kept devouring each other.

“…for so long, love.” Loki finished his sentence.

Tony took off his shirt as well and Loki stared at his chest for a few seconds before moving his hand upwards, caressing Tony’s skin. When his hand got to his arc reactor, he looked at him in the eyes as his hand made its way to Tony’s left cheek and he pulled softly for a kiss.

“Sorry I’m late.” Tony said.

“You’re never late as long as you come back.” Loki replied.

They kissed once again, enjoying each other’s softness. Tony wondered how often Loki looked back at that kind of moments, the ones they shared together, the good and the bad ones and when things seemed to be about to hit rock bottom, something none of them wanted to ever happen, especially Loki.

“I will always come back for you.” Tony stated.

***

_In the living room…_

“Bucky? Are you okay? Please tell me you are okay.” You asked with trembling voice.

“I… I got hurt on the mission.”

You felt the tears coming already.

“How hurt?” You cried. “Wait! Damn it, I knew it, I should’ve asked you before we left.” You continued.

“Hey, doll, it’s okay. Are you kidding me? If it wasn’t for you on the elevator…”

“Don’t even finish that sentence, Bucky!” You screamed with tears in your eyes.

Bucky looked at Steve and he widened his eyes, and he already knew what his friend was thinking of.

“Take your shirt off.” You demanded. The images that were in your head had to be worse than reality. “Let me see your arm.”

“My… my arm?” Bucky asked, confused. There was no way you could know about his wound on his flesh arm.

“Your metal arm. The guy on the rooftop shot you on the arm, don’t you remember?” You asked him.

Bucky’s lips parted as he heard you caring so much about the fact that that was the first thing you had thought about, the fact that you cared so much about his metal arm. His heart skipped a beat and he looked at you, afraid of the tears coming back to his eyes.

Steve couldn’t believe what was wrong with you two and why you were so _doubtful_ about the other’s feelings. You were crying at the thought of Bucky being hurt and almost dying, something you didn’t want to think about, and Bucky was about to start crying **again** because of how worried you were about him and because how much he loved you. Steve felt like the most frustrated person on the planet at that moment.

Bucky started taking his shirt off and once you saw the wounds, especially the ones on his stomach you started shedding more tears. Your right hand went to your mouth.

“I’m sorry, Bucky.” You apologized again.

“No, y/n…” He hugged you and kissed your temple, trying to make you feel better. “Doll, please don’t cry.”

You looked at him and put your arms around his neck, your foreheads touching.

“I should’ve avoided that. I should’ve…”

Bucky grabbed your wrists and looked deep into your eyes.

“You killed the guy who did this to me. Okay?”

You tried to stop yourself from crying so you concentrated on the blue on his eyes, and the colour along with the fact that it was _his_ blue, calmed you down a little. You nodded and without letting go of Bucky you said:

“Steve? Could you please bring me the medical kit?”

“Sure.” He answered.

Steve left the room as if he was running and when he went to where the medical kit was he found Natasha with it in hand.

“Nat? What are you doing? I really need that now.” He said.

“I know, I’ve heard the entire conversation.” She replied.

Instead of asking why she was there, Steve decided to talk to her about how frustrated he was. But she spoke first.

“Can you believe those two?” Natasha asked.

“I KNOW!! Wait, you know??” Steve said, surprised.

“Yes!! I was sure he had feelings for her and now that I’ve heard this… I mean… what is wrong with her??” Natasha complained.

“What is wrong with her? What is wrong with him??? She’s literally crying because he could’ve died and he’s hurt and he’s still like ‘ _I don’t know, Steve, I don’t think she could have feelings for me…”._ Aaah!! What a jerk!” Steve screamed.

“She’s crying?” Natasha wondered.

“They were both crying!!! They can’t see the other suffering without suffering too!!!”

Natasha put her hands like they were claws and made an angry face.

“I know!!!” He replied.

“Steve!!! Please tell me we don’t have to replenish the medical kit!!!” You screamed.

“No, it’s all good!!” He answered.

“Then what are you waiting for????” You screamed again.

Natasha and Steve looked at each other and then rolled their eyes. They came into the living room and brought the medical kit with them. You took it immediately, thanking him and asked Bucky to sit on the couch. They went back to where Natasha was before because they weren’t planning on missing _anything_.

You took a small table and put it near the couch and without you looking at him, Bucky stared at the shape of your body in the night dress you were wearing and how beautiful your hair looked under the dimmed lights of the living room at that time of the night. Once you had some cotton soaked in hydrogen peroxide, you looked back at him and saw that his lips were parted and his eyes shone in an almost magical way with the lightning you had on the room. You were thinking what position you would take so you could see all of his wounds properly but before you could do anything, without taking his eyes off you, Bucky took one of your arms and sat you astride him. Your night dress moved upwards and your bare thighs were over Bucky’s but this time you were even more exposed.

“Emm... Bucky? I don’t know if you’re going to be comfortable with me sitting like this…” You said.

The closeness to his body was nearly killing you and the fact that it had been _him_ who had placed you like that left you almost paralyzed.

“I am. I swear.” He assured you.

You looked at his left shoulder, where you had found the first wound when he saw where you were going to start off with, he looked away.

“Bucky. Bucky, look at me.” You said, placing your hand on his cheek. You took his metal hand and kissed the palm, just like he did before to you, leaving him astonished. “It’s okay.”

You put the cotton on his shoulder and then with your fingers caressed the place where flesh and metal met, you looked at Bucky before leaning on his shoulder and he held his breath, knowing what you were about to do. He didn’t stop you and he closed his eyes as you started leaving small kisses on that part of his body. He felt the tears coming back, but this time it was for something totally different. But he held back because he didn’t want to make you feel like what you just did was wrong. You could continue curing the injuries on his body but he felt that with those kisses he would never feel pain again.

“Let me see the metal. I want to know if I had to fix something about…” You said.

“But the vibranium is so resistant…” Bucky replied.

“But it can still be damaged. And this is only the first design it was made for your arm.”

Bucky looked at your impressed. “How do you know that? Only Shuri would know that for sure. She built it.”

You looked back at him and took a deep breath before revealing: “She didn’t do it alone. I helped her.”

His eyes widened. He was speechless. “I… I didn’t know… Why did you do it?”

You could tell by his voice that he was… happy, as if you had done him a great favour.

“I heard she wanted to make you a new arm and I asked her if I could help her. I know stuff about technology like she does. Tony taught me a few things and… she needed someone who knew you and not making… any kind of arm. I wanted it to be special, something that would protect you…” You took his metal arm and everything was alright. “I would say we did a pretty good job. But I swear I didn’t choose the colour!”

That comment made Bucky laughed, forming wrinkles on the corners of his eyes. That along with the sound of his laugh were the most beautiful things in the world for you.

“I wanted something different cheerful like… bright blue. Like…”

“My eyes?” He asked.

You looked at them again.

“Yes.”

At that moment Bucky thought he couldn’t love you more than he did after knowing that. He felt the need to kiss you right there, with you on top of him dressed like that, he didn’t know how he had been capable of keeping his composure. But then your facial expression changed from a smile to a sad face. You looked down at his flesh arm where you had found another wound and Bucky wondered what could you be thinking about. Suddenly, the thought of you not knowing if he would let you make a move on him came to his mind. But… if he did… what would happen next? After the hell he had been through he saw himself capable and _wanting_ to give love to someone. _To you. **Only** you. _ But he thought that maybe it was too complicated on your side. Maybe you didn’t know if you could love him like that. It’s not like you only protected him. You understood that he was able to do things on his own and you also made him laugh and made him feel normal again without even trying. On the bad situations you did anything for the other and on the good ones, you appreciated every second of it, the company of the other being all that you could ask for.

So he decided to let you make up your mind until you knew for sure what you felt for him, allowing himself for the first time to consider that possibility. But he wasn’t going to hide like he had done before his feelings for you. He didn’t want to scare you off but pushing you away making you think he only saw as a teammate was something he would never do again.

Your hand was taking a long time on his arm and he had to tell that the cotton was dry but you continued caressing his bicep, trying to breathe like a normal human being but it was really difficult. His thickness had you breathless and your knees weak and the position you were in didn’t make things _any_ easier.

You reached out to the desk to get a new piece of cotton and when you looked down at his abs you had to take a deep breath. When you placed it on his skin, Bucky immediately tilted his head back and growled in pain. His crotch moved a little bit upwards and that made your body mimic his movement, as you were on top of him. You couldn’t help but feel turned on by that. You took your hand of his skin and quickly apologized. He looked at you and his gaze was strong.

“Keep going.” He said.

You put the cotton back on his skin and this time he bit his lower lip.

“I hope you’re not hurting yourself there.” You said, pointing at his lips.

“You want to make sure about it?” Bucky replied with hungry eyes.

The thing was, Bucky was able to make you catch some of his attitudes sometimes. And right now, you were both so hot and confidently playful with the other. And you both loved it. But he wasn’t expecting you to look at him with a wicked smile before running your thumb through his lower lip while he looked into your eyes with the same facial expression. You took your thumb off and you both studied it for a few seconds. When you looked at each other, you realized you were heavily breathing.

“You’re good to go.” You said.

Bucky pursed his mouth in a self-satisfied smirk and looking at your thighs he responded:

“Then why don’t you let me go, doll?”

But when you were about to move you realized… that you couldn’t.

“Bucky…?”

“Yes?” He asked you, looking into your eyes.

“I can’t move my legs.” You replied, embarrassed.

Bucky laughed and immediately lifted you up. You put your arms around his neck as he took your legs and placed them around his waist.

“Let’s go to bed, doll.” He said with a kind smile, caressing your thighs with his thumbs.

You were blushing so much you couldn’t look at him in the eyes, so you let your head rest on his shoulder.

 “What are you doing here, guys?” You heard Bucky asking.

You turned around and found Natasha and Steve on the hallway, who looked at you with the eyes wide opened.

“What are _you_ doing?” Steve asked, surprised.

“I’m taking her to bed.” He answered.

That sentence made you smile and you couldn’t hold it back.

“I can’t walk.” You said, shyly.

“Okay…” Natasha replied. “Good night, guys, we were about to go to bed as well.”

Once they made sure Bucky had taken you to your room Natasha and Steve finally let off some steam.

“They’re driving me crazy.” Steve said. “ _I’m taking her to bed._ ” He added, acting like Bucky.

“And did you see her face when he said that?”

“Did you see _his_ face??”

“Imagine what kind of faces they must have made there when we weren’t looking!”

“I don’t get these guys…”

They looked back and saw Bucky coming out of your room and Natasha immediately went to hers, telling Bucky good night.

“How it’s going, buddy?” Steve asked him.

“Maybe… maybe you were right. But I don’t know if I should make a move on her. What if things get awkward between us after that?”

“Bucky, there is no way that could happen. It would only make things better!”

Bucky simply sighed in response.

“I’m going to sleep. Good night, Steve.”

“Good night, Bucky.”


	5. Chapter 5

When you knocked on Bucky’s door the first thing you saw was his glorious naked torso that already looked way better, even though it always did.

“Doll?” He asked, confused and tired because you had woke him up but then he realized you were covered in beautiful black lingerie, similar to your nightdress. “Do you…” He blinked a few times. You were a vision for his eyes. “… do you need something?”

“Yes.” You said, coming closer to Bucky. You touched his naked torso where his heart was beating so hard that it felt like it was going to come out of his chest and his eyes looked at yours, not so patiently waiting for your next move. “You.” When you grabbed him by the neck and kissed his lips fiercely, Bucky completely lost his mind. His body didn’t have time to react in the first seconds but his hands went to your cheeks, not wanting the kiss to end. Bucky shut the door and he didn’t mind about waking up whoever could’ve heard it. You were kissing and that was all that mattered to Bucky. He embedded you against the door and his hands were now in your waist, sinking his fingers in your skin and you took the chance to put your legs around him. Bucky moved his hands to your back and then to your hair, making the kiss even more passionate and your fingers tousled his hair while he was running towards the bed.

He didn’t even wait to placed you over the sheets and instead jumped to the bed with you on top, caressing his cheeks. He lay down and made sure your body stood over him by grabbing your buttocks with a soft moan leaving your mouth, breaking the kiss. You caught your breaths and with Bucky’s back over the mattress he opened his eyes for the first time.

And he woke up.

Bucky startled, heavy breathing. He was alone in bed. He looked down at his hands; he wasn’t your skin. He closed his eyes. It all had been a dream. He lay down, running his fingers through his hair. It was too good to be true.

“Bucky? Are you okay?”

He looked at the door he always left open, unlike in the dream. You were there in your nightdress with a worried face and by the tone in your voice he could tell you had run to his room.

“Did you have a nightmare?” You asked, coming closer to the bed.

Bucky kept looking at the door and he couldn’t believe you had noticed him abruptly waking up from his dream. _Nightmare_ , you said. _Not even close._ But he decided to lie. At that moment, it seemed like the best thing to do.

“Yeah. Can you… close the door, please?”

You look at him with a sad face and you did as he said, getting out of the room. But before you could walk away, he stopped you.

“No!” Bucky almost screamed, desperate.

You opened it again, confused. Bucky took a deep breath before pretty much begging you:

“Stay with me.”

You closed the door and run to bed with him, who looked at you with shiny eyes as you came closer. You held him tight and Bucky buried his face in your neck and you could feel his heart beating in his chest so hard it was gently hitting your skin. You remained in that position for a while but his heart kept beating fast but now for a different reason. You thought he must have had a terrible nightmare if he wasn’t able to calm down, even with you softly caressing his back with your fingers. Bucky was afraid to tell you that he didn’t have had a nightmare. That it was one of the most beautiful dreams he had ever had and that he thought that the worst part had been waking up until you showed up on his bedroom.

You looked at him in the eyes and you cupped his face and caressed his cheeks with your thumbs.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

He closed his eyes and sighed in relief, making you smile with how much you felt he needed you at that moment and you kissed his forehead, causing him to relax his shoulders a little bit.

He lay down and it took you no time to put your body next to his, both of you hugging underneath the bedsheets.

“What was it about?” You asked Bucky without looking at him. “The…”

“Nightmare?” He completed.

“Yes.” You replied, afraid of having gone too far.

“I’m not ready to tell you.”

You were about to cry, it must have been truly horrible. You thought it probably was something related to HYDRA. The idea of Bucky thinking he didn’t deserve to be loved after everything they had done to him was heartbreaking for you.

You moved your body upwards to kiss his forehead once again as if that kiss could brush away his nightmare, and then you held him tighter.

“I’m here, Bucky. I’m not leaving. Sorry I asked.”

Bucky smiled and kissed your temple, slowly caressing as much of you as he could with his flesh arm.

“It’s okay, doll. I’m okay now that you’re here.” He let you know with a smile. “Now let’s get some sleep.”

You knew sleeping in Bucky’s arms would probably be the only way to do it after that night but you would’ve never thought it could be possible.

***

The next morning you woke up with Bucky’s warmth all over you. When you looked at him, he was still asleep and his puppy face was so adorable that it made you gush like a teenager. You moved a lot while you slept and you were afraid Bucky wouldn’t sleep because of you but wasn’t the case at all. His arms covered you at all times and now his flesh one was keeping you warm in the cold morning even tough your bodies were a bit apart from the other. You shivered under Bucky’s touch and a small growl left his mouth. Without opening his eyes, he held you tight using his whole body.

“Good morning, by the way.” He murmured, making you laugh. He was really tired, freshly awaken, only making him look so freaking adorable.

“Are you cold?” He asked you, opening his eyes for the first time.

“A little.” You answered with your body in a ball shape.

“Wait.” He said, touching a part of his metal arm that you knew increased its temperature, a feature you had included just in case he needed it.

Bucky put his arm around and you instantly noticed the difference. You sighed at the wonderful sensation so much that it sounded like a moan. But it still wasn’t enough so you took his arm, making the metal touch your skin under the nightdress. Bucky had to hold his breath. You fell over his torso enjoying the warmth of the arm on your body.

“Is that… better?” Bucky asked shyly.

You nodded, holding him tighter and that movement made you almost overturned over his body. He caught you and you ended up on top of him. His metal hand had gone up your back and he then noticed that you weren’t wearing a bra. You realized what Bucky had just discovered, as he was starting to get hard under your body and you let him know how turned on you were by letting Bucky hear your intense breathing. His eyes look at yours, surprised as you sat astride him, rubbing against his crotch. He closed his eyes, not believing what was happening. Scared of it being a dream again, he opened them again and his gaze hit you like a raging ocean would hit the rocks of its coast and he let a moan escaped his lips. You were about to make your mouths collide but the sound of the door interrupted you.

“Bucky?”

You both widened your eyes when you heard Steve’s voice on the other side of the door. Thank god you closed it last night. You quickly put yourself under the sheets, leaving Bucky to answer the door.

“Yeah?”

“Can I come in?”

Bucky’s eyes widened even more and he looked at the bed where you were hidden. You immediately uncovered yourself and after a few intense seconds, you run to the bathroom, trying not to be heard.

“Yeah, Steve, come in.” Bucky replied, his voice breaking in the middle of how nervous he was.

When Steve opened the door he looked confused at his friend.

“Are you okay, buddy? You never sleep with the door closed.”

“Right! I… umm… I’m okay, don’t worry.” Bucky said, his voice breaking once again.

“Buck, are you hoarse?” Steve asked.

“What?” Bucky replied, this time with his voice in a higher pitch than normal. He coughed several times before continuing talking. “No.” He added, super serious.

“Okay… Tony wants to tell us something, you and y/n are the only ones missing breakfast. By the way, do you know where is she?”

Bucky simply widened his eyes and shook his head like a thousand times.

“Okay... ‘Cause she’s not in her room and Thor can’t find her.”

“Umm… she probably went for a run or something, don’t worry, I’m sure she’s fine.”

Steve looked at Bucky even more confused and an awkward silence filled the room for seconds that seemed like hours.

“A run?”

“Yeah… she has a lot of energy in the morning… not that I know about that!” He mumbled. “I need to pee.” He added, trying to get rid of Steve as fast as possible.

“Okay… I’ll see you, buddy.” Steve said before walking away.

Bucky closed the door again and turned around. You came out of the bathroom laughing, looking at the poor Bucky, who almost had a heart attack.

“Shut up.” He said, laughing as well.

He covered your mouth with his flesh hand until you relaxed and once you did, your lips slowly showed up under his hand like a blooming rose and when Bucky felt your lower lip moving because you needed to breathe, he immediately took it off as if your lips were on fire and they had burned his skin.

You held each other’s gaze heavy breathing.

“Bucky?” You finally said.

“Yeah…?” He answered, noticing the reddish tone your lips had acquired.

“Did Steve mention if it was an emergency?”

“Why?” Bucky asked, confused.

“Because this is.”

It took him completely by surprise when you brushed his hair with both hands, taking his face closer to yours until your lips touched and as soon as they did Bucky learned the difference between dreams and reality. He could smell your fragrance, felt his skin responding to yours even if you were only touching a small fraction of his. The dreams were only pure images in comparison to the torrent of sensations running through his body. His arms held you tight and you lift your legs as if you were dancing. When your tongues met you felt your body melting while he was exploring your mouth.

After a while, Bucky, with a strength he had thought would be unimaginable, he said:

“They’re looking for us. We should go if we…

“What a shame, Sargeant Barnes.” You interrupted him with hungry eyes. “Trying to give me orders with the word ‘should’.” You said, playfully.

You knew how much he loved when you called him that. And he surely did because he looked at you, eyes on fire before saying with his voice deeper than you had ever heard:

“You better take that off because I’m afraid if I do I’ll rip it. And _that_ would be a shame.”

Those words almost made you lost it right there but instead, you pulled your nightdress over your head and threw it away, not wasting any more time to keep kissing Bucky. He thought about the dream and grabbed your butt, taking you to bed. He put you on top as he kept massaging your buttocks and you started moaning more intensely. You moved his body and put him on top of you and the feeling of his weight over your body was breathtaking. You kept kissing each other while feeling the skin of your chests touching now with no barriers at all. He left a million ones until he got to your neck, where he pressed his lips, devouring that part of your body, making you see the stars and screamed his name between intense moans. He gave you a wicked smile, barely inches away from your face. It was hard to see the blue in his eyes after you said his name like you were in heaven but so hot you both knew you had to be in hell. You felt how hard he was against your body and before you could moan again his lips came back to yours and you could feel how intensely he was breathing by the linger it left on your skin. Even his breath was burning. 

But, once again, something made you come back to the real world. This time Bucky didn’t even wait for a voice to speak after the knock on the door.

“I’M COMING!!!!” Bucky screamed at the door, breaking the kiss.

His voice turned you on and you realized the way his muscles were tensed up above you, his skin shining with the sunlight coming from the window.

“You don’t get to talk to me like that, Barnes!”

You clearly recognised Tony’s voice from the other side of the door and prayed for him not to open it.

“Go find y/n and get your asses here to eat your fucking breakfast! We need to talk!”

You heard his steps across the corridor and then both of you took a deep breath. You got out of bed and when you looked at each other you realized you weren’t afraid of things being weird between the two of you. You were afraid it would never happen again.

“I told you we should’ve left.” Bucky laughed, putting on a pair of intense blue jeans.

“Well, then you _should’ve_ used better words than those.” You replied.

You both laughed before looking at each other a little bit sad, overwhelmed by your own thoughts.

“Would you do that again?” You finally asked, looking at the wooden floor.

Bucky took your chin and kissed you softly, regretting he hadn’t done it earlier like he would’ve wished, but you were both craving the other so much you couldn’t resist it and the result would’ve been the same anyway. An explosion.

“That and more.” He said, looking into your eyes, his blue ones soft and bright. “If I didn’t it would be the end of me.”

You stood concentrated in the softness and brightness of his blue eyes, looking for the words to say now. You had been brave enough to end with the tension and with the delicacy of his last kiss he made you considered it might not all be a mere physical attraction to him. Maybe it really was something _more,_ a word you would’ve never imagined to be so meaningful until you heard Bucky saying it.

You put your arms around him and he leaned in for a kiss before you made another move, his hands resting on your hips, his lips awakening you once again. Every kiss was like waking up for the first time after having had the feeling of having been asleep for too long. And that was the only reality you wanted to live in.

“Mine too.”


	6. Chapter 6

When you closed the door of Bucky’s room you were left with happiness and confusion all at the same time. _What the hell just happened? I kissed Bucky. He kissed me back. And if it weren’t for the interruptions who knows what could’ve happened next. No. That would’ve been going too fast. But… now what?_ You knew you would end up asking yourself that question if you ever went as far as you just did with Bucky. You definitely had to talk about it at some point. Especially if you didn’t want things to end there. On the other side of the door, Bucky lay on the bed, breathing in to retain your scent that was everywhere in the room.

You were so in your mind that you didn’t realize you had stumbled with someone on your way to your bedroom to put some clothes on.

“Y/N! You’re here!” Thor screamed as he gave you one of his big hugs. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

_Please don’t ask me any questions._

It wasn’t like you had to hide but right now you were trying to figure things out and everyone in the Tower knowing about what was going on between you and Bucky would only make everything even more complicated.

“Tony wants to tell us something. He’s kind of angry this morning. I don’t know why.” Thor added, without mentioning the fact that you were nowhere to be found that morning.

“Then I better get going.” You said, heading to the living room with your nightdress on.

On the way there you took deep breaths trying to calm down but you knew there was no way you could be ready for whatever questions they could ask you about where were you that morning. When you got to the living room you felt everyone’s eyes on you. But there were two you didn’t see. Bucky’s.

“Where the hell is Metal Ken? I just told him to be here asap!” Tony complained.

“I wouldn’t say you _told me_ to be here, you _screamed_ at me to get my ass here!” You heard Bucky’s husky voice behind you and you immediately turned around. He was shirtless.

“Both of you.” Tony replied, pointing at you and Bucky, making you very nervous. “I see you found her.”

Bucky simply nodded in response.

“No, I found her. She was in the hallway, a bit far away from her room.” Thor said.

Bucky swallowed saliva and run his fingers through already messy brunette hair.

“I’m going to make some breakfast.” Bucky said, trying so hard to change the topic.

“Yeah, me too.” You quickly added.

“I’m surprised you’re still hungry.” Tony replied, making you freeze inside.

Bucky and you went to where the Nespresso machine and the toaster were, far enough from Tony and everyone else to be able to breathe a little bit. You bent down to take the bread and you noticed that Bucky had taken the chance to look at your butt when you did it.

“You want some?” You asked him.

“You know I do.” He answered with a crooked smile.

You put the bread on the toaster and Bucky looked back before whispering in your ear:

“You couldn’t even put some clothes on?”

“I have more clothes on than you do, Bucky.”

“I don’t see you complaining about it, doll.” He said with hungry eyes. “Besides, you’re wrong. I bet you’re not even wearing a bra underneath that nightdress.” He said, putting your body against the kitchen table, his back looking to the Avengers. He put his metal hand next to yours, without touching and slid the other inside your nightdress to prove his point. His flesh thumb was close to your right nipple and the rest of his fingers caressed part of your back. When his skin finally touched your nipple, you contained a moan and you thanked Bucky’s thick body to be covering yours so no one could see your face.

“I don’t see you complaining about it either.”

He quickly took his hand off your skin when the toaster announced that the bread was ready. Bucky opened the fridge while you tried to come back to Earth and handed you a jar of your favourite jelly: raspberry.

“We ran out of that the other day!!” You exclaimed.

“I went to the market and bought a few jars. I know they’re your favourite and they’re kind of hard to find and these guys only buy peach jelly or they don’t even bother.”

“Bucky… that is so sweet. Thank you so much.” You put the jar on the kitchen table and hugged him, giving him a kiss on his left cheek, close to the corner of his lips.

Natasha hit Steve with her elbow and made him look at you and Bucky.

“It feels like he’s doing better.” Steve pointed out with a smile.

“What do you mean?” Natasha asked confused.

“He was acting a little bit weird this morning when I told him about Tony.”

“How weird, exactly? Did he mention y/n?

“No, he said she’d probably went for a run or something like that. He didn’t seem worried.”

“Steve? You’re telling me he was relaxed this morning when we couldn’t find y/n?”

“Well… he wasn’t actually relaxed. It’s like he wanted me to get out of the room immediately.”

Natasha didn’t hold herself back and gave Steve a small hit in the head.

“Do you know what you did this morning, Stevie??”

“No. I don’t. And why do you hit me?”

Natasha took his head and made you look at you and Bucky. He couldn’t see your faces but he could tell you were very close to each other and his body was reaching for two cups of coffee. When Bucky moved his body to start making the coffee you were looking at him with hungry eyes and so was he. He had put the toasts on a plate and had you already started eating them. When he noticed you had some jelly on the corner of your mouth, he cleaned it up with his metal thumb and then licked it, smiling at you.

Steve looked at Natasha with widened eyes.

“Holy…” He started.

“I TOLD YOU.” She finished.

“Are they…?” Steve asked.

You had already finished your toasts and Bucky was putting some hot milk on your cup. He handed you the sugar and you both finished up preparing your coffees. You decided to take the rest of your breakfast to the couch and before you got there, Bucky placed a kiss on your shoulder, making you giggle.

“They better be.” Natasha replied.

They looked at how you sat together on the couch and drank your coffees, very close to each other.

“So, what did have to tell us, Tony?” You said.

Tony looked mad at you and came closer to the couch.

“I wanted to announce that the new Avengers compound is ready _and_ we’ll have a bowling alley. I wanted to do something fun with all of you after the last mission so… you’re welcome.”

“Cool! When’s the party?” Thor asked.

“It’s not a party. Just a fun inauguration.” Tony corrected him.

“You mean… a party.” Sam said.  

“Whatever! It’s this afternoon. I’ll bring the cars and you better be on time. Bucky, y/n, I hope you heard that.”

“Can I… bring my girlfriend?” Thor asked.

“Jane?”

“No! I broke up with her. It wasn’t working out. Anyway. Her name is Wren and I wanted to introduce her to you guys.”

“It’ll be great to have more girls on the team. Is she… human?”

“Not really. She has a special skin, she can change it however she wants to protect herself. Wanda introduced us and… the rest is history.” Thor said with a smile.

“She should totally join the team!!!!” Wanda exclaimed. “She’s great, you’ll see.”

“Yeah, we’ll see.” Tony replied. “Is anyone bringing someone else?”

Everyone looked at Tony surprised and a little bit shocked so they shook their heads.

“Okay.” He sighed before getting out of the room.

“So… that was it?” Sam asked. “Those were the big news?”

You looked at your empty cup of coffee with a sad face, wondering what was going on with your friend.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked you, caressing your arm.

“I have to go.”

Bucky looked at you getting up and walking out and he started to wonder if he had something wrong. If you regretted what had happened that morning. If he was right having doubts about your feelings for him.

***

You found Tony in his room. The door was opened but you still knocked, not sure if he wanted some company or not, even though you knew he needed it.

“Tony?” You asked shyly. “It’s me, y/n.”

“Come in. Close the door.”

He was in bed and you could tell by his eyes that he was feeling down.

“Hey.”

You hugged him and he sobbed on your shoulder.

“Where’s Loki?”

“He’s not here. He said he had to go somewhere and when I asked him if he was going to attend the… the party he said he didn’t know if he could make it.”

“I’m sorry, Tony. I’m sure he’ll come!” You said, hugging him tight and you felt his smile coming.

“So. Let’s talk about _what_ happened to you this morning.”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, y/n. When I went to Bucky’s room I could hear your moans coming from the inside and I’m not dumb, I know you were starting to have breakfast in his bed.”

“OMG, Anthony!” You said, hitting him with a pillow.

“He sounds like he knows what he’s doing and you must be good as well, I almost feel bad for interrupting you two. You must have had a hard time when you finally came out of the bedroom…”

Now you were using the pillow to hide behind it so Tony couldn’t see your red face.

“Noooo, don’t do that.” He said, stealing the pillow from you, but you still had your hands to hide your embarrassment. Tony tried to put them again and you ended up laughing and you showed him your big smile. “I’m happy for you.”

“I should talk to him about this, though.”

“Then what are you doing here?” Tony asked you surprised.

“I wanted to know if you were okay, Tony.”

He smiled at you with shiny eyes and you hugged him, kissing his right cheek.

“That’s what friends are for.” You added.

***

You went to your room to put some clothes on when you realized Bucky’s scent was all over you. You took a deep breath and then your thoughts instantly came back to him. You had to do something about this whole situation, you had to talk to him about what happened before you could take things somewhere else. And as if he knew you were thinking about him, you heard his voice behind you.

“Hey, doll.”

You noticed how different he sounded after all that had happened. You turned around to face him and he was smiling. But it wasn’t the kind of smile of someone who is happy to see you. He wanted to comfort you with it. You couldn’t even move your lips.

“Is everything alright?” He asked.

It made you feel bad to see him that worried but you had to clear things up between you two.

“We should talk.” You said with a serious face.

Bucky closed the door and walked to you and when he tried to kiss you, you pushed him away.

“Did I… have I done something wrong?”

Now he was really afraid.

“It’s not… it’s not exactly that.” You started. “Bucky, I don’t think we want the same things.” That was the best way to put it.

Bucky felt his heart breaking. His chest was heavy and he had to take a few breaths and, after trying for a while he finally spoke.

“What?”

He was trying not to cry in front of you.

“Look, I’m sorry but I think I gave you the wrong impression this morning about what I want.”

He was trying really hard.

“Y/n… maybe we went too fast but we can totally slow things down a little, I… I want this.” He realized how desperate he sounded but he didn’t care at all.

“No, Bucky. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen what you want and I can’t do it. I’m so sorry.”

“What do you think I want?”

One tear ran across his cheek but he didn’t bother to clean it up.

 “Something physical. You want me to be in bed with you and have sex until our bones collide because I can tell now that you like me.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“And you don’t want the same thing?”

“I don’t want… just that. I want _more_.”

For the first time since he had entered the room, he felt there was hope.

“And you really think that’s _all_ I want?”

He cupped your face with his hands and made you look into his blue eyes.

“My body is not the only thing of me that wants you. My heart does too. _All of me_. I want to be in bed with you and make love to you which is what I should’ve done last night when you came into my room.” There was no way he could stop talking. There was no looking back. So he decided to tell you everything. “That night I didn’t have a nightmare. I dreamed about you. And yes, I wasn’t ready to tell you but… when I saw you at the door… I felt I was still dreaming. I never thought my dreams could come true but when you kissed me… I was so glad everything was real.” He took a deep breath before continuing. He was shaking. “I want to go shopping jelly with you and have breakfast with you and go on missions with you. With or without fancy dresses because you look beautiful anyway. As long as I get to sleep with you every night.”

You had to look away from a second, trying to process his words. You weren’t expecting anything like that at all. You thought what he only wanted from you was sex. This… was completely different from your imagination.

“I love you.”

And once he said those three words your eyes came back to his.

“ _I’m_ the one scared of you not feeling the same way.” Bucky concluded.

“Bucky…” You felt tears in your eyes but with the joy in your heart, it didn’t matter. “Of course I do.”

Your lips found his in a soft and passionate kiss. Your arms were around his neck and his hands were on your back.

“I’m in love with you, Bucky. And I want to be with you.”

“I guess we want the same thing.” He jocked.

You both laughed and then looked at each other with shiny eyes, no longer with tears of sadness. He held you close and kissed you hungrily, knowing no matter how much he did it he would never have enough. You ended up in bed once again, your tongues and hands intertwining at the same time. He couldn’t but smile against your lips, making you smile as well.

“Okay so… even though we’re so in love with each other… you’re not going to say your body doesn’t want me as well.” Bucky said with a vicious look in his blue eyes.

You pushed him so his back touched the mattress and look at him as if you were about to devour him.

“I would never lie to you, Sargeant.”

Bucky immediately pulled you in for a kiss with his flesh arm and put your body under his. Your legs were around his waist and your hands wandered at his lower back, playing with the elastic of his boxers.

“You really want me.” He said smiling at you. You knew there was no way you could ever get used to the view of Bucky’s body on top you, his muscles tensed up and his hungry eyes devouring every inch of your flesh.

“I thought you had already noticed, even though I’m way more discreet than you are.” You said looking at his bulge.

He laughed, but it was a deep voice kind of laugh. One that could make you wet in no timing.

Bucky’s kisses became more and softer and sweeter as you kept kissing each other.

“Look, I want the first time we make love is more than a quick bang, you know?” He said.

You looked at him and you realized it was real. He really did love you. It wasn’t just sexual tension and this proved it.

“Yes.”

You gave him a peck on the lips and then he hugged you, both of you now sat on the bed.

Then you heard the sound of your phone. You had forgotten you had set an alarm to go to the gym. You turned it off but Bucky had already seen it.

“Are you going on your own?” He asked you.

And then you remembered how you never trained together because of him.

“I don’t know, maybe Nat will be there.”

“Do you want me to come?” He said, playful.

“You don’t mind?”

He looked at you for a while and then realized where you were coming from.

“I was insecure about my arm and you seeing me training shirtless and all… I don’t know.”

“Bucky, I love every part of you.” You said, lacing your right-hand fingers with his metal ones.

“This has a little bit of you, actually. And this too.” He replied, putting your right hand over his chest, where you felt his heartbeat.

You leaned in to kiss him again.

“I’m thinking… I also train shirtless, I hope you don’t have a problem with that.”

Bucky’s eyes widened and you felt his heart beating faster.

“What?”

You started laughing when you saw his facial expression.

“I’m just messing with you.”

Bucky closed his eyes and took a deep breath and you kept laughing but you stopped when he started kissing you and your laugh turned into moans against his mouth.

“Let’s go, doll.” He said, taking you out of bed with a playful smile on his face.


	7. Chapter 7

You were wearing purple leggings and a matching sports bra that you bought one day when you went shopping with the girls and Bucky, as he had said, was shirtless with nothing but a pair of black sweatpants on. When you entered the gym you both realized with surprise that it was completely empty.

“Do you _always_ train on your own?” Bucky asked.

“No… Nat sometimes comes with me. Or Steve. I usually find him when I come here.”

“Well… you have me here as well.” He said with a smile. “But you should get ready before we start.”

“What do you mean? I’m in training clothes.”

“Your hair.” He replied, running his flesh fingers through your hair. His hand went to your scalp and was now massaging it and you got lost into the delicious sensation that travelled down your spine.

“I have some ties, it’s okay.” You said after a while, about to put your hair into a ponytail when Bucky stopped you.

“I have an idea.” He said smiling. “Give me two of those.”

You looked at him confused but give him the two ties anyway. He sat on one of the mats of the gym and asked you to sit between his legs, looking very excited. Bucky combed your hair with his hands and separated it into two and the next thing you felt was him _braiding_ your hair with firm and swift movements. He totally knew what he was doing. You handed him one of the ties just in time and he started with the second one. Once he finished he took the braids by the bottom part and played with them, satisfied with his work. You could even hear his little laugh behind you and you turned around to kiss him on the lips.

“Can I see them?”

He smiled again, his eyes shining because of your excitement. You went to the closest bathroom with mirrors to appreciate Bucky’s work of art and when you turned your head and finally saw it, you were amazed, to say the least. Bucky had put your hair in two thick gorgeous braids that totally looked strong enough to stay in their place for the whole workout. You spun around feeling like a princess, absolutely looking like one to Bucky, who was staring at you with his back against the bathroom wall with heart eyes.

“They’re beautiful!!! When did you learn how to do them????”

“I umm… I learned in Wakanda. It was a really nice way to… you know, kept my mind and hands busy. It was also quite relaxing.”

You cupped his face and gave him a peck on the lips. His smile wouldn’t fade away.

“I love you.”

It _really_ couldn’t fade away.  

“I love you too.” He said before starting to kiss you again. The kisses became more and more intense and Bucky had to put you over the sink, your legs separating and curling around his waist. The effect your bodies caused on the other was immediate and yours had quickly learned how to respond to his.

“Sam, have you seen Bucky?”

“I have no idea, man. Did you text him we would be here?”

“Yeah, but he didn’t answer. Wait, I’ll call him.”

You felt Bucky’s phone vibrating in his pocket, right between your legs and you couldn’t help but moan at the feeling. Bucky, on the other hand, started laughing.

“Bucky, pick up the phone!!” You begged him, his phone still giving you pleasure.

That only made him laugh even more but he finally pulled away as you tried to collect yourself. Instead of answering the phone, he took you by the hand and you both came out of the bathroom without caring about how Sam and Steve would react.

“There you… are.” Steve said, surprised to see you.

“Hi.” You said. You hadn’t looked at yourself in the mirror before walking out of the bathroom but you were sure your face was red.

“She’s going to train with us.” Bucky stated with a big smile on his face.

“Cool!! Let’s stretch first.” Sam said.

You took advantage of the situation to tease Bucky. Steve and he were on the floor stretching their legs, you were in front of them, winking at Bucky every once in a while. You put your leg as high as you could and he couldn’t keep his pretty blue eyes off you. Steve was looking at both of you, laughing inside. You stood up to continue with the stretches, this time separating your legs and touching the floor, giving Bucky a good look of your behind. You heard him clearing his throat and you smiled in satisfaction. You turned around to look at him and while you were stretching your arms, he put his hair in a cute little bun. Now you were the one losing it. He looked so adorable and soft with that hairstyle… _did he always wear it when he was training? Why was that the first time you saw him with a man bun? He should totally wear it more often._

“Hey, y/n, are you ready?”

Sam’s voice made you come back to Earth but you were still looking at Bucky, gawking.

“Yeah. I’m ready.”

“Okay. Two vs. two, no guns, no knives, nothing. We have to practice the hand-to-hand combat as well.” Steve said. He looked at you for a while before adding: “Y/n, you’re with Bucky.”

You smiled at each other and starting walking to Sam and Steve, everyone assumed their positions and just before Steve went for Bucky, you slide between his legs and surprised him. Steve fighting Bucky would’ve been too predictable. Sam and Steve were still processing your technique but it didn’t take them too long because before you noticed Steve had started _really_ fighting back. It came to a point that he had his arms around you and you could barely move. You saw one of the walls, just close enough for you to run to it. And that’s exactly what you did. Steve definitely wasn’t expecting that so he let you go, thinking you would smash him to the wall. Instead, you used it as a fulcrum and jumped over his head, landing on the floor in front of Sam and Bucky, who looked at you astonished.

“Holy shit!!” Sam said.

You gave Bucky a crooked smile and he winked at you in response before continuing fighting Sam, who had been distracted by your moves. You looked at the way Bucky was trying to take Sam down so concentrated that you realized you had forgotten about Steve. With one quick look, Bucky made you turned around just in time to throw Steve a punch, his eyes widened at your speed. You decided to change places and when you looked at Bucky again he seemed to have read your mind. You came closer and once Bucky was diagonal to you, you looked at his thigh and he instantly knew what you were about to do. You jumped on it and Sam was on the floor in just a matter of seconds while Bucky took Steve down as well with just a few moves.

“Remind me that I always send this two on a mission together.” Sam said, and you could tell by his voice he was in pain.

“Deal.”  Steve replied with the same tone in his voice.

“Yes!” You celebrated.

When you turned to Bucky he still had a big smile on his face and you couldn’t take it any more so you grabbed his cheeks and kissed him in front of Sam and Steve. You didn’t care about that part because the thought of going with Bucky on every mission the other had to go to would only make things even better. Bucky’s tongue slid slowly into your mouth and his metal hand was caressing your cheek. He moaned with a deep voice against your lips and the need to feel him even closer to your body grew, so you put your arms around Bucky’s neck, deepening the kiss.

“I knew it!” Steve screamed from the floor.

“Man I knew you were doing something back there in the bathroom when we came here.” Sam added with a playful smile.

You broke the kiss and you and Bucky looked at each other, both of your faces turning red. Sam and Steve finally stood up and couldn’t stop smiling at the two of you.

“I’m really happy for you, guys.” Steve said.

“Your girl definitely knows how to fight.” Sam added.

“Yeah, it was impressive! You guys make an awesome team!”

You looked at Bucky after hearing Steve’s words. You thought the same.

“We do.” Bucky said before giving you a peck on the lips, making you giggle.

“I knew I had to put you on the same team anyway.” Steve said.

“Why?” You asked, curious.

“Come on, you couldn’t fight with each other, not even a fake fight.” He added.

“I think I can handle myself just fine, Stevie.”

Bucky gave you a playful smile and you didn’t give him time to react, he stumbled and it took him a few seconds to concentrate and fight back. You started throwing punches at each other, and for the way you moved your bodies to dodge them, it looked as if you were dancing. Bucky had predicted you would try to jump to take him down so when you put your legs around his neck, just like Nat had taught you to do, he let you think you were winning. Bucky simply placed his arms on your back enjoying the warm feeling of your skin, letting you finish and right when he felt you pulling away, he grabbed your hips and with a swift yet smooth move, he put your back against the floor because the last thing he would do was to hurt you.

He had you by the wrists with his metal arm while the other was on your lower back. Your legs were wide open with Bucky’s thighs in between, what allowed you to move your legs and put them around his waist so slowly he thought he had already won and now you were just playing with him. You felt his metal hand releasing your wrists and just then you put yourself on top of him with all the strength that was left on your body. You grabbed his wrists, using both hands and pressed your butt against his legs while applying force with your thighs, making sure he couldn’t move.

Bucky was heavy breathing and gave you a vicious smile before moving his back closer to you. There was no way he could fight back but somehow he did when he licked you between your breasts, making you lose your composure. Your hands left his wrists and drove down his arms stopping at his strong biceps while his mouth travelled to the flesh of your left breast, his warm lips kissing all its surface. Thank God Steve and Sam couldn’t see your face, but you knew Bucky was having a lot of fun teasing you and turning you into a moaning mess without too much effort. Only this time, you were really trying to keep your voice down. Bucky’s mouth eventually left your skin and by the look in his eyes, you could tell he was content with himself.

“What do you think, guys?” Bucky asked with glory in his voice.

“Let’s call it even.” Sam replied.

Bucky wasn’t happy with the answer but it made you laugh and relax enough to stand up with confidence.

“I told you I could handle myself, Steve.” You said with a playful smile.

“Yeah, she can.” Sam laughed.

Bucky put his arms around your waist, hugging you from behind, leaving a million kisses on your neck until you finally turned around to gave him the kiss he deserved and between smiles, you caressed his lips with yours. He kissed you on the forehead and allowed his hands to touch the beautiful braids he had made for you with the big smile and heart eyes you adored.

“Let’s go to the showers, Buck.” Steve said.

Bucky looked at you, waiting for your response.

“I’ll text the girls.”

“Okay.”

Bucky kissed you one more time and left with guys but, before leaving the gym, you hid as you heard them talking about you.

“And you thought she wasn’t into you?? Really, man??” Steve asked.

“Wait, _what_??? Come on, man!!” Sam added, amazed.

“Guys! I just… I just wasn’t sure if she liked me in… that way. I mean… gosh, she’s amazing…”

The way Bucky said that last word made your heart skipped a beat. He was so soft when it came to you and he couldn’t hide it any longer.

“She’s a warrior and I know you’re great for each other.” Steve said.

“Yeah, man, I mean… that fight? Are you kidding me? You guys are unstoppable!” Sam screamed. He was getting really excited.

“I knew something was happening this morning at breakfast.” Steve said.

“By the way, where… ? Oooh… I know what happened this morning!! Lucky dude!” Sam added.

“What? No! It’s not like that. I want to make things right. I really want this work. I'm crazy for her." Bucky said, interrupting Sam.

“Look at that. You’re even better than in the 40s! The Bucky I knew never stuck to just one girl.”

“That’s because the Bucky you knew had never fallen in love, Steve.”  

The more you heard Bucky talking about his feelings for you the more you felt your heart melting but part of you knew it would be better to hear this type of confessions for the first time from Bucky himself, so before he could say another word you left the gym and, on your way to the Tower you texted Nat and Wanda. You also needed to get some feelings out of your chest.


	8. Chapter 8

Nat and Wanda were on the couch with a funny smile on their faces when you came back to the Tower. You had taken a shower there because it was always more comfortable for you and also to avoid any temptations and your hair was still just like Bucky had left it and you were wearing dark blue short shorts and a black tank top.

“Well… y/n… do you have anything to tell us?” Nat asked, raising one of her eyebrows.

You didn’t even try to hide your feelings and smiled at your friends. It only took them a few seconds to react. Wanda jumped on the sofa with excitement and Nat simply look satisfied and relieved at the same time.

“Oh my god!!! You were right, Nat!!!” Wanda screamed.

“Wait… Did you think that…” You started.

“Bucky? Yes, of course! We all thought the same! He totally had a crush on you! And I knew you felt something for him. Even Steve noticed!!” Wanda’s eyes were shining and she had sat closer to you, her elbows touching her knees, waiting for you to keep talking.

“Well, he doesn’t notice everything…” Nat laughed. Wanda looked at Nat surprised and then at you, with dark eyes this time.

“Someone had fun last night…” Wanda said with a crooked smile, playing with her red hair.

“Nothing happened last night.” You assured.

“Sure…” She continued.

“Do you really think we’re buying that?” Nat asked with a deep voice.

“I swear. Nothing happened. Last night at least.” You said, the last part in a provocative way on purpose, knowing how the girls would react. And it worked, as they stood up immediately and asked for the details.

“Did you sleep together???” Wanda demanded, shaking your body with her skinny arms.

“We slept in his bed but we didn’t have sex.” You answered, trying to calm her down.

“But something had to happen. This morning you were… really close, let me tell you.” Nat said.

“Right?????????” Wanda added.

You rolled your eyes and took a deep breath before finally saying:

“Okay. Something did happen.”

Their eyes were wide open and they opened even more as you told them more and more of what happened in Bucky’s room.

“WOW. Y/n… I didn’t know that side of you.” Nat said with a seductive voice.

“Me neither!” Wanda exclaimed, surprised.

“What can I say…” You said, thinking about the way Bucky turned you on and you caused the same effect on him. How your bodies seemed to know the other so good.

“And you were nervous the other night about him not having feelings for you… Incredible!” Nat said in frustration like she had done so many times lately.

“Do you love him?” Wanda asked very close to your face.

“Yes.” You answered in a sigh.

Wanda yelled like a little girl and hugged you tightly. “And he does too, right?” She said, still in your embrace. You closed your eyes and the memory of Bucky telling you he loved you appeared behind your eyes.

“Yes.”

You turned around and saw Bucky smiling at you and behind him, Steve and Sam looking at each other, clearly enjoying themselves. They had the hair wet, Sam wearing one of his million funny T-shirts; Steve, with one of his usual way too tightwhite tank top. And then there was Bucky. The only one who wasn’t wearing one, just a pair of black sweatpants. He pulled you closer with his metal arm until you were inches apart from each other’s faces. He caressed your cheek with his flesh hand while the metal one rested on your lower back. He kissed your forehead and you heard Wanda getting emotional, making you both laugh.

“We have to get ready for the party, guys.” Sam said.

“That’s right! And I’m going to beat you up!” Bucky replied to him.

“Sure. I bet I can do better than you.” You said, teasing Bucky.

“Really?” Bucky asked you with a vicious smile. “Do you want to bet?” He whispered in your ear. When he looked at you again his eyes were dark and hungry. He licked his lips slowly with his tongue and looked down at your body. You were heavy breathing and your eyes were focused on his mouth. “You know I do.” You were less than a second away from your lips colliding. And he knew that. You thought in that moment that if you kept looking at him his eyes would set you on fire.

Bucky took a step back and looked at his friends with a playful smile before they all walked to their own rooms to get ready for the event. When you heard the sound of two doors closing, Nat lifted her eyebrows and Wanda put her index finger between her lips, waiting for your next move.

“I’m going to my room.” You said, not sure if you did it to convince your friends or yourself or what you should do.

Sneaking out to Bucky’s room in the middle of the night just to make sure he was okay was one thing, but running to his door driven by lust… was something else. And he made it very clear that he wanted your first time together to be more than just a quickie. You were walking to your room when your thoughts got interrupted by the familiar touch of a metal arm.

“You’re not going anywhere, doll.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, allowing Bucky to pull you closer to him and closing the door behind you. His lips kissed yours fiercely, as if he was committed to knowing the shape of your mouth by heart. His hands grabbed your hips, pushing you against the wall as he devoured you with more intensity. You put your arms around his neck to maintain balance as much as you could and the more you moaned, the more he thought this all looked like his dream. You noticed that Bucky had broken the kiss and you intertwined your flesh fingers with his metal ones, making him smile. When you looked at him, his eyes were shining in happiness.

“What?” Bucky asked with a small laugh.

“Nothing.” You gave Bucky a peck on the lips making him smile again. “You look happy.”

Bucky caressed your cheeks before saying: “You make me happy.”

You immediately crashed your lips to his as he took you to the bed with his hands on your back. He wanted to be on top but you were faster, sitting astride him. But Bucky was also smart and he opened his legs and, taking advantage of your surprise, pulled you closer to his hard body and you were barely inches away from his face. You got lost in his deep blue eyes that were getting darker and darker the more he looked at you. Your eyes also wandered through his thick thighs and by the way Bucky smirked you knew he had to have read your mind in that moment.

“See something you like, doll?”

“I could ask you the same thing…” You said with your hands all over his abs, feeling his breathing.

Bucky looked you in the eyes with a seductive look and arched eyebrows. You had a push-up bra on that made your breasts appear round and beautiful and Bucky was losing his mind, as you could tell by his crotch. You rubbed against it, both of you gasping in pleasure with every move you made.

“So…” Bucky started, his eyes closed for a few seconds when your moves became more intense. “I think you said something about a bet…”

You look at him intrigued. “Do you have something in mind?”

The black had taken over his eyes and his metal hand came closer to your breasts, drawing the curves without touching them.

“The one that gets more points tonight of the two of us…” Bucky licked his lips still looking at your breasts and right after that, looked deep into your eyes. “wins.”

“Wins what?”

Bucky’s eyebrows arched again. He really was in the mood for games.

“We’ll see.”

You wanted to tease him one last time, but this time you failed and Bucky put his body on top of yours, giving you an amazing view of his thighs. His flesh hand caressed your face while the metal one threatened to touch you below your stomach. When you were about to lose your mind Bucky lifted you up to kiss you hard, his tongue massaging yours very slowly, setting a dangerous rhythm. Before you could notice, he had taken your lower lip between his teeth and bit it just enough to make you go crazy. When you opened your eyes, Bucky had a smile of satisfaction in his lips.

“Don’t worry, we’re going to have enough time to have fun tonight… Even if you lose.”

You laugh mischievously and looked at Bucky with hungry eyes. “Bucky… Honey… If I win, I’ll be the one having fun tonight. Trust me.” You stated, whispering into his ear.

His eyes were wide opened in surprise but Bucky quickly changed his expression to his vicious one that had you so wet. He went to find your mouth you again, holding your face to deepen the kiss and before he let go, Bucky bit your lower lip yet again.

“I’m looking forward to that, doll.”


	9. Chapter 9

You had changed your outfit more than three times already. It wasn’t a fancy party, it was just a small reunion at a bowling alley, really. But you still wanted to look good, and maybe tease Bucky a little bit. You went to the closet again and started rummaging nervously. You were about to lose your patience when you came across a garnet red fabric, you grabbed it realizing that it was one of the few not-wrinkled clothing in your room and decided to try it on. It was a short cotton jumpsuit with a V neckline. The smooth material caressed your skin and once you had it on, you looked at yourself in the mirror, noticing how the cloth hugged your curves, especially enhancing your butt. The neckline, on the other hand, shew how close together your breasts were. It wasn’t too tight, just enough. You smiled at your reflection the mirror with confidence.

“Holy fuck, Y/N.”

A small laugh escaped from your lips when you heard Bucky’s voice behind you, panting. He didn’t give you time to turn around and meet his eyes, as he ran to you. His hands caressed your upper thighs and soon they moved to your butt underneath your clothes.

“I didn’t know what to wear.” You admitted.

Bucky’s mouth went to your neck, kissing softly, but suddenly you felt his tongue teasing the skin, making you shiver.

“I like this one.” He said, right before biting your neck this time.

“I see…” You moaned.

Your eyes met in the mirror, full of lust. Bucky turned your body around, his metal hand grabbing your back and the other one holding your neck before kissing you. His lips devoured yours and soon his tongue went inside your mouth, intensifying the kiss. Your hands ran through his hair and as your moans turned louder his hands travelled down to your butt again and grabbed it hard.

“Bucky…” You whined.

“Yes, doll?” He whispered in your ear.

You knew exactly what you wanted his hands to do in that moment, but something stopped yourself from begging Bucky to spank you when you thought that after years of being tortured he could be very uncomfortable doing that to you, no matter how turned on he was. You didn’t know how to start that conversation but you knew it definitely had to happen before that night came. You took a deep breath and you felt Bucky hugging you from behind, his hands now on your waist.

“Hey, are you okay?” He said, placing a gentle kiss on your neck and another one on your cheek.

“Yes, it’s just…” You took another deep breath, before turning around and meeting his eyes. “If there’s anything you don’t feel comfortable doing… in bed... you tell me, okay?” You exhaled through the nose nervously and your hands caressed Bucky’s cheeks. “You know you can trust me, right?” Your thumbs were near the corners of his mouth and your eyes gave him the tranquillity you knew he needed and deserved.

Bucky gave you the softest smile before his lips met yours, melting your heart with the delicacy of his mouth. His arms caressed you back and yours went to his chest to feel his heart beating fast.

“I love you.” Bucky said, before kissing your forehead.

You smiled, putting your face close to his chest. He laughed at your attempt of hiding from him and put his hands on your cheeks before kissing your lips once again. Bucky’s mouth travelled across yours and you let him get lost in there as you did the same. When your lips separated, Bucky’s smile was still there.

“I love you too, Bucky.” You gave him a peck on the lips, a stolen kiss, making Bucky laugh and lifted you in the air for a few seconds. “But you didn’t answer my question.” You said when your feet touched the ground.

Bucky took a deep breath with his eyes closed and when he opened them, he was looking at you very serious.

“I will never hit you, Y/N. Under any circumstances.”

You hold his left wrist, your hand travelling across the metal. “I know.” Your fingers intertwined and when you look at Bucky, his smile was back. He came closer to you and you stood on your tiptoes to kiss him on the forehead.

“Did you asked me that because I was grabbing your butt really hard?”

“Yes… I decided that asking you what you were comfortable with before you could do anything else was the best option. But… I mean, I love when you grab my butt.” You said, trying to break the ice. Bucky laughed in response, so it looked like it had worked.

“There’s a lot of things I can do to you. Don’t worry about that, doll.” He said, whispering the last sentence in your ear.

You still had a little bit of time before you had to go, so you decided to keep playing.

“Like what… Sergeant?”

Bucky immediately bit his lower lip when he heard that word.

“Take that off.” He ordered, and while you were in the process of getting rid of the jumpsuit Bucky had a wondering look in his eyes.

“What?” You said, now with just a black bralette with a matching thong, though Bucky couldn’t know that yet.

“The panties too. Only if you want.” He said.

I’m about to take everything off right now, Bucky. You thought. So you also got rid of the thong and as soon as the clothes touched the floor, Bucky kissed you hungrily, almost as if he was trying to steal your breath. His teeth grabbed your lower lip and you moaned in surprise. He pulled back with hungry eyes and turned you around. Bucky started devouring your neck, biting it as well while his hands held you by the hips. He then left kisses on your back, making his way down to your butt and with every kiss, you separated your legs more and more. He kneeled down and started kissing it but suddenly you felt his wet tongue licking one of your glutes and then biting it. He switched between the two movements, turning you into a moaning mess, though you tried to be quiet when his mouth started working really intensely.

“You need more, doll? You can’t wait until tonight?” Bucky separated your legs a bit more, still on his knees.

“No.”

He really wanted to do things right, taking his time with you, as you deserved. But in that moment, he had right where he wanted and you had just said the word that could liberate his deepest desires. And you felt exactly the same. Right then, he knew that dragging this made no sense and it wouldn’t benefit either of you.

“Me neither.”

And right after that, he moved one of your legs so that you turned around and his mouth went right to your pussy. He put his whole mouth on it, taking his time to savour you and then his tongue torture you, going everywhere except near your clit that was demanding more attention.

“Oh my God, Bucky…” You gasped.

And then, as a response to the beautiful sounds you were making, his tongue finally arrived to your clit, licking it from top to bottom, alternated with circular movements on your entrance. Your hands went to Bucky’s hair, his face impossibly closer to your pussy. He put his hands on your thighs and kissed the skin before his metal fingers went to your throbbing clit. His eyes met yours and you could see how much he was enjoying himself. Bucky licked your entrance one last time, with his metal fingers still on your clit. He made sure it was really wet before stimulating it with his thumb. Your knees were shaking under his touch and your orgasm came seconds after. You kept gasping while Bucky’s fingers remained on your pussy until you could catch your breath.

“Doll?”

Bucky’s voice was like an echo and when you looked at him, you found him gently kissing your thighs so you would stop shaking. You kneel on the floor next to him and kiss him, tasting your juices on his mouth. When your eyes met again, Bucky licked his lips and bit his lower lip. You could tell by his chest that he was also trying to catch his breath but you weren’t exactly thinking of letting him rest. You pulled back looking at his crotch. Bucky’s eyes followed yours and he immediately guessed what your intentions were. Your hands quickly took charge of pulling down his pants, while Bucky tilted his head back smiling at the eagerness of your movements.

Once you got rid of his pants your right hand started torturing his crotch, touching Bucky over his black boxers. He closed his eyes moaning and you could even feel how his hips moved towards you. He needed more.

“Those too.” You said, referring to his boxers. Bucky went to take them off but you were faster and with a swift move, you pulled them down to reveal his hard length, waiting for you. Your eyes met once again, hungry for each other. Bucky expected you to touch him but, instead, you leaned closer to him to kiss Bucky on the lips very softly. Then, your tongue licked his lower lip, making him gasp and introduce his tongue in your mouth, his flesh hand grabbing your neck, deepening the kiss.

“Y/N, please…”

The sound of Bucky begging for your touch was music to your ears. You put saliva on the tip of his dick and with your mouth so close to him, he thought he knew what you would do next. But he didn’t know how much you could keep on torturing him until you gave him the pleasure he wanted. You wrapped your fingers around his member and started masturbating him, making Bucky moan, a sound you instantly got addicted to. But you both needed more and once you saw the precum coming out of his dick, you stood up and guided him to your bed. Bucky had a confused look on his face until you pushed him so he would sit over the mattress and you kneel in front of him. Without giving Bucky time to react, you put his whole dick in your mouth and starting licking it very determined to keep him wet.

“Aaaaaaaah, yeeeeeees Just like that, doll. For fuck’s sake, you’re doing amazing. I can’t wait to have my dick inside your pussy tonight and fuck you how you deserve.”

That last sentence woke up something in you, making you suck his dick harder, Bucky’s moans louder.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.”

You licked his whole length while looking at him and Bucky had his eyes wide open.

“You’re dream come true, doll.”

You put the tip of his dick inside your mouth while with your right hand you kept moving with the perfect rhythm. You put more saliva over his dick and suck even harder.

“I’m… I’m so fucking close, doll, I’m coming…”

Soon after those words escaped from his lips, Bucky screamed in pleasure while he came inside your mouth. As he had done with you, you licked him until he had relaxed.

“We’re going to have a lot of fun tonight.” You said once you took his dick out of your mouth.

“Tonight? After this I’m not going to miss any change to fuck you every single night.” Bucky said.

Your mouths collided after Bucky’s confession. You couldn’t think of a better way to finish your day other than that. You really couldn’t.

“Deal. Totally.” You said before kissing Bucky passionately once again, wishing you could time travel to that night.

Bucky bit your lower lip with his arms wrapped around your body and pulled back to make a second confession.

“I plan on sleeping next to you every night and wake up by your side every day.”

Bucky’s eyes had recovered the lovely softness from before and the blue captured you before his lips did again.

“I would love that.”

You looked at each other smiling, caressing cheeks and leaving kissing all over each other’s faces. You couldn’t believe that this was real because of how much you had daydreamed about it. But it was real.

You put your clothes back on while Bucky looked at you until he left the room shirtless. You went to the bathroom to do something with your hair and after staring at it for a while you decided to curl it. You washed your face and put just some moisturizing and mascara on the upper lashes. The only thing left was your phone, really, but you went to the bedside table to check it, you saw two missing calls, with almost half an hour of difference between them.

Loki.


	10. Chapter 10

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

You heard a sigh coming from the other side of the line.

“No, Y/N. I’m not.” 

You closed your eyes, thinking about all the possible scenarios at the same time. Hopefully, with at least one with a happy ending. But those could be really hard sometimes. 

“Have you talked to him?” 

“What is to talk about, huh? The way he does everything, like I only matter to him behind closed doors? You’re the only one who knows and that’s because of how close you are to both of us.” 

“Loki. This is about you and Tony. And you know that.” 

There were a few seconds of silence where you could only hear Loki’s breathing and almost see how he was massaging between the eyebrows, eyes closed, biting his lower lip, an expression that could be easily mistaken by anger but you knew it really was him frustrated because he didn’t know how to deal with his feelings. You had been the only one who truly supported him no matter what after all he had done, even when all the Avengers, including his own brother, doubted of your sanity. 

“He. Loves. You.” You assured him with the only words you knew were worthy of breaking the silence.

“Well, he really has a way of showing it.”

“Loki…”

“You know, one day, I won’t answer the phone. I won’t be waiting for him in bed every night. I won’t… dress up for him. That belongs to me and no one else. And especially not to him. That shouldn’t matter but apparently, it’s a big deal to him.” 

“Loki. Listen. Come to the party today. Trust me. Come as you are. No illusions… nothing.” 

“Am I… invited?” The surprised tone in his voice broke your heart a little. He still got emotional when he felt people appreciated him. 

“Of course you are.” 

You heard his smile from the other side of the line and it made you smile as well. 

“I’ll be there.” Loki said before hanging up the phone. 

You stared at the phone, getting lost in your thoughts when a voice startled you. 

“Can I come in?” 

Tony’s voice caught your attention and you put the phone again on the bedside table. 

“Yes, Tony…” You looked around the room and realize what a mess you had made. And when he opened the door, he realized that too. 

“If you just had sex in here, let me tell you people usually use the bed instead of the closet.” 

You tried not to look at the bed, where Bucky had sat just moments ago. No one could really guess what had happened. And you still couldn’t believe  _that_ had happened. 

“I didn’t know what to wear.” 

“You didn’t deny it either…” Tony said with his usual sassy attitude. 

“Tony…” 

“What? I know what a woman who just had sex looks like. And a man.” 

“Yes, you know that one pretty good, don’t you?” You replied. 

Tony was speechless, as he didn’t see coming your response. 

“What a clap back…” Tony started walking around the room, folding the clothes that were on the bed. “You need to have this ready before tonight. I remind you we’ll be moving to the new compound.” 

“Tonight?” 

“Yes. I want to have it ready as soon as possible. I don’t you all coming here to get your stuff for a month.” 

“You’re moving too, right?” 

Tony remained silent for a few seconds, his mouth turned into a thin line without showing his lips. 

“Of course. What were you thinking? You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He said. But there was something strange in his voice. The way he changed the subject with a fake smile you knew too well. But decided not to question it just yet. 

“Damn it.” 

You both laughed until Tony left the room before saying at what time you would have to leave your suitcase in one of the cars. The first place you went to was to your bookshelves, ignoring the mess of clothes that surrounded you.

 

* * *

 

_“Just take a few, Y/N.”_

_You heard Tony’s voice behind you, as you were thinking about which book to take to the Tower._

_“It’s not like a have a lot. I’ve only been here for like a year. I have more guns than books. Now I’m not sure that was the best option.” You said._

_“This could’ve been avoided if you all had listened to me.”_

_“No, Tony. This could’ve been avoided if you had listened. Period.”_

_Tony frowned, angry, heavy breathing._

_“Which side were you on this whole time?”_

_“You really think I was going to support you no matter what? Just because you are my friend?”_

_“That’s what friends are for. Or at least that’s what I thought.” Tony took a deep breath and sat down on your bed. “I already lost a friend, I don’t want to lose you too.”_

_Tony always knew how to move you. He knew how to do that to get away with things. But not with you. He didn’t have to._

_“You never did.”_

_Tony smiled and kept looking at you until you smiled back. He stood up and walked to the bookshelves._

_“Have you read this?” He said, pointing to your edition of_ The Picture of Dorian Gray _._

_“Yes.” You said laughing. “I’ve read pretty much all of these books. But I’m taking this one.”_

_A knock on the door interrupted you and when you heard Bucky’s voice on the other side of the door, you immediately froze. When he came in, smiling and holding a big book in his hands, but that smile vanished as soon as he saw Tony. He wasn’t angry and you noticed how he was trying really hard not to look at Tony’s chest. You could feel the regret in his eyes, the pain in his eyes. He was now aware of the fact that you knew what he had done to Tony._

_“Sorry.” Bucky said in low voice, not really sure who he should look at in that moment._

_“It’s okay. I was just packing my stuff.” You said, giving him a warm smile._

_“I have to go. I have some work to do.” Tony replied, without hiding his dislike towards Bucky. He slammed the door, and something inside Bucky broke._

_“I don’t know how you can look at me right now.” Bucky said, and you could tell by the tone in his voice how he was holding tears back._

_“We all have things to regret, Bucky. Especially Tony, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.” You replied, with hesitating in showing how you felt about the situation._

_“So do I. I did what I did.” Bucky murmured, thinking about all the people he had killed._

_“So did I.” You said, comforting him. Bucky gave you a wonderful smile when your hand touched his cheek._

_“I… I wanted to give you something.” He said, handing you the book with his flesh hand. You tried not to look at his left shoulder, where his metal arm used to be. That was probably the reason why he wasn’t scared of you seeing him like that. He had a white tank top on, but there was no sign of the metal. No sign of the soldier. Only the sight of a man who had lost too much._

_“Anna Karenina?” You said, holding the big tome._

_“Yes. It’s kind of therapeutic for me. Reading. Although I won’t be reading anything… any time soon, really.” Bucky said, followed by a fake laugh. You knew what he meant by that. You didn’t mind he wasn’t the one to tell you the news._

* * *

_“How long?” You asked. And in that moment you felt like the most selfish person in the world._

_“As long as he needs.” Steve said. You couldn’t even turn your back and look at him. You were to busy holding back your tears._

_“Okay.” You said, taking a deep breath._

_You heard Steve walking to you and when you felt his hand on your shoulder, a shiver ran through your spine and you close your eyes so you wouldn’t start crying right there. Not in front of him._

_“He’ll be back soon.”_

_You recognized T’Challa’s words coming behind the two of you. Words you both needed to hear in that moment. Steve was the first to react, nodding his head to T’Challa while you remained frozen without looking at neither of them. You heard the door closing and then you turned your back, thinking you were by yourself, in the safety of your bedroom, so you decided to let your tears shed. Only that you weren’t._

_“You love him, do you?” Steve asked and his soft blue eyes made you uncomfortable for the first time._

_“Don’t tell Bucky.” Your voice was broken, almost just like the rest of you. “He can’t know. I don’t want him to.” You really didn’t want to cry for Bucky in front of Steve. “I don’t want him to deal with this. He doesn’t have to deal with… my feelings.” You wiped off your tears with your fingers, looking away from Steve. You took a deep breath and gave him a last look. “I’m doing this for him. There’s no point on him knowing this. No need at all.”_

_By the look on his face, you could tell that Steve wasn’t expecting that reaction from you. He simply nodded and walked out of your room and left you alone to actually cry in silence after a war that no one had one and that had taken something from you._

_When Steve got to his room, Bucky was waiting for him._

_“How did she take it?” Bucky had his arms tensed up, holding the desk of Steve’s room. His friend didn’t know what to answer. He wanted to say that you’d be fine, but that could lead to Bucky thinking that you weren’t fine in that moment._

_“You can go to see her now.” Steve finally said, forcing a smile._

_“Is she crying?”_

_Steve wasn’t expecting that question coming from him and, again, he didn’t know what to say. He knew you were strong and that, given the words you had said before, you were, in the worst case scenario, in bed feeling sad._

_“You can go, Buck.” Steve repeated, this time with a much more convincing smile._

_But just before Bucky opened the door,  Steve decided to ask Bucky something he didn’t know how he had the bravery to say out loud._

_“Do you love her?”_

_You all had lost so much, he needed to know there was still something good after the war. Two of the people he cared about the most loving each other. That could give him hope to believe they would move on from that._

_Bucky wasn’t looking at him, but when he did, his eyes said it all._

_“Why do you think I wanted to know if she was crying?”_

* * *

_“Thank you, Bucky. I love it.” You said, emphasizing the word ‘love’ more than you wanted to._

_Bucky looked at you and his blue eyes made your heart beat faster and you wish he wouldn’t come close enough to feel it. You didn’t want to scare him. He smiled at you and before you noticed, his flesh, and also only hand, caressed your cheek. You felt the warmth on your stomach, and then his lips on your skin, near the corners of your mouth. One move and your lips would meet. Just one move._

_“I love it too. That’s why I want you to have it.” Bucky said, also emphasizing that same word._

_You ran your fingers through Bucky’s hair, for the very first time._

_“When you come back. I’ll be here for you. Like I’ve always had, Bucky.”_

_Without fears, Bucky held you tight, and you knew that would get stuck with you until he came back to hug you again. No matter how long it would take. When Bucky pulled back, he had realized he could only hug you with one arm, and you could see it in his face. He was trying not to cry. Not in front of you. You wrapped your arms around him, saying that everything was going to be fine. Then, you looked up. He was closer than you thought and your lips met his forehead, giving him a comforting kiss._

_“I know.” He said._

* * *

Once you had put everything you had in a suitcase while daydreaming, except the copy of  _Anna_ Karenina, you heard a knock on your door. 

“Are you ready to go?” 

You looked back and saw Steve and Bucky waiting for you. You smiled at them and left the suitcase next to the door for a second, with the book on top of it, before crashing your lips to Bucky’s. He was surprised at first, but he soon wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up in the air. You kissed him one more time when your feet touched the floor, although Bucky couldn’t stop smiling in between. 

“Now I am.” You said, and before you could take your suitcase back, Bucky did. His whole face shone when he saw the book and he gave you a gentle peck on the lips before closing the door, leaving behind a place with old memories you would take in your heart, and ready to make some new ones.


End file.
